This Life (BxB)

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Ace

I depressingly squeezed the stress ball in my hand as I was laying on this couch, staring up at the ceiling. Every two seconds I felt myself clench and unclench the small, blue, squishy ball in my hand.

It's a stress reliever for sure.

I haven't been saying this much this session and I can tell that Dr. Shannon was trying to get me to open up today. Truth is, I didn't feel like even coming in today but I forced myself because I know that this is what I need to help myself. I'm still not fully healed yet.

"What's wrong, Ace? You seem very down today than usual."

I shook my head, wanting to leave it alone. She looks above her glasses at me. "Ace," she says once more.

"What?" I asked, pissed off.

"Be open with me. What have we talked about these last couple of months? You have communicated so much to me lately, don't shut down now. I'm trying to get to the root of your problems so I can help you maybe resolve them, sweetheart."

My hand moves to my stomach as I get to rubbing it, while squeezing the stress ball with the other. "It's me and my boyfriend's anniversary today."

Dr. Shannon gets to smiling. "Congratulations, that's so nice, Ace. You're going to visit him?"

I shook my head. "Nah, if I see him today, I'm scared that I might just break. It's always hard for me around this time. I just want to be alone for today."

"And it's okay to be alone. You can do things by yourself that you enjoy, because you're very comfortable in your own space."

She's right, but it's been like this for years now. "I'm comfortable with doing things alone; it's just that I miss him so much and gets lonely because I would love to spend time with him on days like this one."

She leans over in her chair to softly speak to me. "You may never know, Ace."

I didn't know what she meant by that.

"There's a blessing for everyone. You just have to be patient, pray, and let the man above work his magic. Your blessing is coming soon."

She was speaking from the heart with that shit. Her eyes were dead focused on me and haven't once glanced down at the clipboard when talking about all this.

I wouldn't know how worse I would've gotten if I never had Dr. Shannon. She sure does know how to understand somebody.

After my session, I'm leaving the building and walking to my car when I saw that there was a couple of people who must be waiting for me. I start to feel myself become pissed when I saw them.

"Can I help you, nigga?" I asked, while walking up to them.

Trill just shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know, can you? Time is ticking and you and everyone you love and are associated with will be dead."

All I could do was scoff from his comment. He must not know me for real. "Enough with that shit, and just tell me what you're here for."

I look over at the girl who was wearing shades over her eyes. "This war will never end. People are going to keep dying unless you give me what I want."

"And what is that?"

"Kasey. He's the one who killed my father—I just know it. You do that, I'll stop fucking with you and your people."

I look at her crazy. There's no way I would do something like that to my lil brother. Plus, Kasey hasn't really done anything to me.