Cate's music box (Cate x FemReader)

-17- 𝚃𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚙𝚜

A/n: This chapter is going to somewhat venture to an aftermath of the Gala chapter.
If anyone of you guys may relate to the things talked about in this, this is a warning. This should be interesting enjoy your read!

⚠️Ed, mild self-harm, Self criticism⚠️

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It's been four months of being in Sydney, you were fully healed. But, Cate still took great precautions taking care of you.
She had been away for a few weeks since she had to go to the south side of Australia for the production she's starting in.

Days you would find yourself skipping one or two meals or just not eating at all.
You would have nightmares of that terrible night that occurred, overtime and every time getting out the shower or just wanting to rinse your face. You would stare at yourself in the mirror feeling the urge to cry, it became a ritual every night. You would stay standing in front of the bathroom mirror trying to notice everything wrong about yourself until you cried. You basically cried yourself to sleep.

It even got worse to the point where you would feel the urge to harm yourself, physically. You did. On your thighs and arms to be frank. So you began to clad yourself in sweatpants and sweaters scared of what one might think.
Today you had skipped breakfast and lunch only snacking on small things like crackers or almonds. You were lounging in the common room watching one of your favorite films. Until you heard the door ramble, it opened and the familiar blonde walked in. "Y/n, I'm home!" She called.

You paused the entertainment and gotten up walking to her direction, "Hey, I've missed you" You smiled she placed her belongings down and came to you to plant a kiss on your forehead.— "I don't know about you, but, I'm starved I'll began on dinner for us" She spoke walking to the kitchen and opening the icebox.

You didn't say anything, you hummed and nodded in return feeling your stomach dropping to your legs, almost going weak: Moreover you walked back to the common room and began watching television again.

The smell of the food being cooked made you nauseous, skipping so many meals made you use to not eating. So with the smell rushing in it made you want to throw up.

"Y/n! Come eat hun" The Australian yelled. You paused your show and walked over to the dinning room sitting down by Cate. You slowly picked up your fork and played with it, You noticed the worry look on Cate's face. "Dearest are you alright? You look a bit pale." She spoke reaching a hand to your forehead.

You nodded "Yea I'm fine" Proceeding to take a bite of the food, it was exquisitely good but the urge to throw up washed over you. "I have to use the bathroom" You stated leaving rather quickly.

Bursting into the bathroom door you locked it, feeling the air around you collapsed you were gasping for air as tears ran down your cheek. Feeling like boiling water crashing with your skin; Kneeling over the toilet you pushed two fingers down your throat trying to bring the small bite of food you ate up.
A good three tries and it was done, you felt somewhat better. But you couldn't help but lean against the tub your knees up to you're chest, your arms wrapping them.

You placed your head in your lap sobbing, you felt like you weren't good enough for anyone not even Cate who you loved terribly.
You couldn't cope with the pain and suffering, first when Cate left then the night of the SA, you were over it all. You wanted everything to end. When it was just you, you found a hiding spot for a friend.

It had been twenty minutes and Cate was starting to feel worried, so she left going to the bathroom trying to open it but couldn't.
"Y/n? Can I come in?" She knocked. No response. That's when she got worried rushing to get a tool pack she found a small lock picker. She always knew that this would come in handy— Coming back she began picking the lock.