The Third Wheel BxB (Old + new versions)

OLD VERSION Chapter 7: Help me I'm... feeling

Alexander was sitting just outside of his tent, his legs crossed at his ankle's lenght and a pleased expression on his youthful face. He looked very casual right now, enjoying the sunny afternoon as if they weren't currently at war and their lives were not at risk. At any other given time, Kyle would have yelled at him for not be training with the others but today was different. Today, he needed his help and he had a feeling Alex was going to enjoy this sudden shift of power. Oh yeah, he's definitely going to enjoy it very much, Kyle thought bitterly.

Alex almost jumped when he saw Kyle approaching his tent with a decided expression on his face. He did noticed that his leader did not look as mad as he should have been but tried to play it safe by asking with a fake jovial expression:

"Kyle! What a pleasure! Lovely day, isn't that right? Do you have any idea where the others might be? I was dying to go training with them but they've all disappeared, such a pity!"

"Cut the bullshit already", Kyle sighed. "I am not here to kick your ass. For once, I need your help".

" You need... MY help"? " Alex now had a bewildered expression.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, can't believe it's finally happening, right? So, I won't beat your ass for lazing off but in exchange I need you to do something for me".

But Alex was no fool and he crossed his arms and smirked:

"Careful, Kyle. I don't particularly like blackmail and I have a feeling that what you are about to ask me is not exactly legal. Don't think the Alpha would kick me out for taking a nap. You, on the other side, have some naughty plans I am not sure I want to be a part of"

"Okay, okay, I get it. Look, Alex, it's the first time I am asking you for a favor and..."

"Oh, so now it's Alex! Are we friends now or what?"

Kyle sighed, looking defeated and even though Alex should have been pleased to finally have the upper hand, he wasn't. Kyle might be an asshole but Alex was convinced he did not deserve half of what happened to him. And, after all, just like his favorite character in tv shows, Alex had " a tender spot in his heart for cripples and bastards and broken things".

"Spill it out, buddy. You might as well tell me now, before our beloved alpha or one of his sidekicks find us here and decide to brutally interrupt our friendly chat"

Kyle nodded, feeling Alex's curious eyes on him.

"I need help. I'm... feeling again. I need suppressants, the strongest you can find"

"Excuse me? Repeat again?"

"Alex, I know I have not always been nice to you..."

"That's the understatement of the century" Alex snorted

"ANYWAY. I will do anything in exchange. Just please you're... the only one I can talk about this. Please, Alex".

Alex was silent for several minutes, the relaxing nape now long forgotten. He eventually asked:

"So you're asking for suppressants because you're FEELING? And what are you feeling, may I ask?"

"You won't give up that easily, won't you?"

"Nope. I am, after all, your friend in a very twisted kind of way. You need to be completely honest with me If you want me to take such a big risk for your sweet ass"

"Okay. Well, here's the story: my uncle used to give me suppressants when I was a kid and I have been taking them until now. Problem is, the effects are wearing off and now I'm feeling like - like I'm going to break any time. And it can't happen. We are at war, though you don't seem to quite realize it. And everyone hates and fears me, I can't afford to appear weak, espeacially not now" he paused. "Okay, is that enough for you?"

"Hu-hu. I am sorry Kyle, but I need much more details. You know that the stronger the suppressants, the more dangerous the side effects"

"I am well aware of that, thank you doctor".

But Alex would not let it go. The curiosity still lingers in his eyes, now mixed with pity, a feeling Kyle resented.

"Kyle", he continued cautiously. "You know why people are taking suppressants, right?"

"I-I know".

"Are you, by any chance, a Submissive? That would actually explains a lot things, now that I come to think about it".

"No. Of course not! How dare you?" Kyle was getting angrier and angrier, his whole body trembling uncontrollably but Alex never knew when to back off. The boy never learnt his place.

"I want the truth, Kyle"

"Yes"

"Yes?"

"I am a Sub- submissive. Happy?"

"No, I am not" he sighed. "You know you should be talking about that with your mates, not me"

"They don't know anything. And I haven't talked to them at all these last few days. They've been ignoring me"

"You mean you've been running away, like you always do whenever someone gets too close? They're your mates, Kyle. And I know for a fact that they are worried about you".

"Okay, enough with the pity party, Alex. Are you going to help me or not?"

"Fùck, if they find out, Darren and Nate are going to skin me alive but... yes, okay. I'm in"

It was Kyle's turn to eye his friend with a shocked expression. "Really?"

Alex gave gim a small smile "Yeah, really my baby sub"

"Alex, I will break your..."

"I do have two conditions, though"

"Yeah?"

"First, enough with all this intense training. You've been indulging into self-harming for too long"

"Don't be silly I haven't been self-harming"

" Now you listen to me. There are thousand of different ways of harming yourself, and cutting is just the most known. Some people burn their hands, they bang their heads on the wall but they can also stop eating for days, or they are eating way too much. Others are workalcoholics, some of them - just like you- train from dawn to dusk as a way to keep their dark thoughts away. But it doesn't work. Not in the long run. I know how it feels, too. You know it doesn't help, you know that when the pain starts to slowly fade away, it's gonna be even worst, and that there will be on your body the reminder that you are not fine, that you are weak and way too fùcking vulnerable. At that point you will start hating yourself even more, because you believe you don't have a good enough reason to hurt yourself. If you ever find a friend you can be open with, that's what they are going to tell you, thinking that they are actually helping you: "Stop it already, some people have it far worst than you and do you see them complaining?" That's true, some people are in hell yet they are always smiling, they seem happy and everyone loves them and you want to be like them but you just don't know how"

"Alex, that's enough"

"When you are not harming yourself, you keep thinking about it, over and over again. Sometimes it's just a thought hidden at the furthest corner of your brain but it's always there. Once you've done it once, it's very difficult to turn back time to the good old days. Because every so often, when your life is spiralling out of your control, you will find it very hard to resist the temptation of harming yourself again. The reason is that deep down, you can't help but hoping that once you've hurt yourself so deeply that you've reached the bottom of the lake of angst, things are going to get better. Somehow, self-harming will help you getting better. There is no logic in this thinking but you're already convinced it's true"

Alex took a deep breath and the two friends look at each other in silence, not daring to even move their little toes.

"Oh and Kyle?"

"Yeah?"

"Darren and Nate want to see you now. They're waiting for you inside their tent. So, here's my second condition: I want you to try to be more open with them. Talk to them"

"I'm trying to..."

"Try harder"