When Hope dies

~Mixed feelings~

"Are you okay, darling?" asked Christian

"read...Just read it..." I whispered as crystal clear tears covered my entire face

After reading it he understood. I had talked to him a lot last night about the cause of my mother's death and the pain I felt.
Even though we didn't have the best mother-daughter relationship, she was my mother. She made me strong and I spent my entire childhood with her.

Christian immediately hugged me and squeezed me gently. He understood and I knew it.
I tried to collect myself so I could finally start working on the house.
I put on a painter's suit and when I looked in the mirror I had to laugh because I looked like a construction worker. My light brown hair was tied up in a ponytail and my green eyes shone in the light.
I quickly grabbed the paint and brushes and started painting diligently. I painted the walls in a cream tone and I really liked it.While I was painting the walls I sang my favorite song "Dancing Queen" by ABBA and was happy that there was still a little hope.But was there really hope or was everything already lost?

After I finished painting I took a step back to look at my finished work. I was very satisfied and proud to now have taken a step further.

Finally I heard a knock on the door frame and my husband walked in. His mouth was open and he looked at the finished painted walls and then at me.

"Did...D-did you do all that here?"

"Yes of course my love.It was easy and since I had nothing to do I thought it would be a good idea.Do you like it? "

"Do I like it? Yes,Joanna I love it! "

"Aha, so you love the wall more than me? That's a real shame and sad.." I teased while I couldn't stop laughing

"No of course not!"He laughed

I had mixed feelings and was very unclear. What I knew was that I loved him and he loved me, which calmed me down