Fated To Love You

chapter 18

Akk woke up feeling numb, that empty feeling that turns your inside upside down. Only the sight of a sleeping Ayan brought a smile to his face. Akk knew that Ayan deserved the whole world.

Ayan has been there for him during the toughest times in his life. He has been consistent and patient with him. Even back in high school when Ayan himself was going through tough times.

Ayan deserved the entire world, and Akk was determined to give it to him even if it meant removing every person on planet Earth to give it to him, he will.

"Why are you staring at me?" Ayan asked in his groggy and hoarse morning voice with his eyes still tightly shut.

"Because you are so pretty." Akk replied, tugging a lock of hair behind Ayan's ear.

"If you keep flirting with me, we might not get to wake up." Ayan replied, fluttering his eyes open.

"That's a risk I am willing to take." Akk replied softly.

"Mark your words, Bigfoot." Ayan replied with a chuckle. The sound was one of the most beautiful ones that Akk has ever heard.

Akk loved it when Ayan smiled and laughed. He was at his most beautiful, especially when he smiled with his eyes. Gosh! The love he had for Ayan terrified him at times. He loved Ayan so much that he wanted to possess him, hide him away, and sometimes live in his skin. He felt he couldn't be close enough. He needed to be closer.

"I always do." Akk said fondly and kissed the top of Ayan's head.

They eventually got out of bed after being tangled around each other. They showered together as they usually do to "save water."

They cooked breakfast together... well, Akk cooked, but Ayan kept him company, so that totally counts as cooking together. Akk called him a distraction only because he was giving him back hugs, but it's not his fault that Akk is warm and cuddly with a tiny waist that both his arms can fit around it.

"Aye... Aye, you are going to have to let me go so I can set up the table." Akk said with exasperated fondness.

"Nope." Ayan replied, popping the 'p'.

"You are supposed to be helping." Akk scolded fondly.

"I am helping. I am your emotional support human. I also think cuddles are really helpful." Ayan replied, and Akk could just hear him pouting.

"Okay, fine, Mr Koala, bear, climb up so I can at least mobilise." Akk said, already exasperated with Ayan's clinginess, but he secretly loved it.

Ayan hopped onto Akk's back, getting himself a free piggyback ride to the dining room. Akk moved freely slowly and carefully, setting up the table.

It was peaceful. Days like these were the reason why Akk fought so hard to find the will to live. To have Ayan loving and clinging on to him like a cute koala bear. This was the stuff that dreams made off. It wasn't pixie dust or anything it was just Ayan being Ayan. And that fact alone was worth the fight.

"Time to get down, shortstop." Akk said patiently.

"Only if you agree to feed me." Ayan said stubbornly.

"Don't you have hands?" Akk asked with a small fond smile that was clearly evident in his voice.

"I do, but they are tired." Ayan pouted.

"Okay, fine. I promise to feed you then, young master." Akk said, chuckling as Ayan made a happy noise and gave him a big kiss on the cheek before hopping off his back.

Like promised, Akk fed Ayan patiently while feeding himself. The whole was domestic in nature.

"Do you ever see yourself having kids?" Ayan suddenly asked, and Akk stilled in his movements.

"I have thought about it." Akk said softly before he resumed feeding Ayan.

"And?" Ayan asked after swallowing a spoonful of shrimp congee.

"I don't think I would make a good father. I mean, look at me, Aye. I don't want to fuck a poor child's life." Akk said a little self-deprecatingly.

"What? Are you kidding me? Akk you are the sweetest person to ever exist. You are thoughtful and kind. You are also so strong baby, hulk has nothing on you. My angel you would make an excellent father." Ayan said genuinely his eyes radiating love as he cupped Akk's cheeks and looked at him.

"I am all broken Aye. I don't want to hurt the kid or you in the process. I already thank the heaven's for giving me you. I can't be selfish on this one." Akk said softly, looking at Ayan with the same loving expression.

Akk felt safe with Ayan, Ayan was his person and his safe space. He felt loved.

"You would not be selfish to give a poor child a loving home. And you are not broken, you are healing. We can be a family Akk." Ayan retorted. Ayan realised that maybe he was being a little bit selfish but he wanted a family with Akk.

"Aye..." Akk Said helplessly.

"Just think about it. No pressure." Ayan quickly said with a soft smile. "Now feed me." He added with a cheeky grin.

"Yes, young master Aye." Akk replied with a chuckle.

So that's how breakfast went more or less. They finished breakfast and washed the dishes together, well in this case Akk washed the dishes and Aye sat on top of the kitchen counter and chatted about the latest case he is working on. Akk quietly listened, nodding and humming here and there to show he was listening.

"-and that is why I hate capitalism." Ayan concluded hopping off the table into his lover's arms.

"Mn, capitalism is the worst." Akk replied as he adjusted his arms under Ayan's thighs to hold him properly.

"I know you only heard half of what I said but I appreciate your input." Ayan said as he buried his head in the crook of Akk's neck.

"I heard every word of what Aye said." Akk replied soft and calm. He walked all the way to their living room with Ayan's legs wrapped around his waist as the shorter clung to him like a koala.

"You are so sweet." Ayan said and peppered Akk's neck with small kisses.

Akk spent the rest of that morning with Ayan sleeping on top of him while he read a book listening to the soft snores of his lover sounding like a purring kitten. Sometimes he would occasionally play with his hair massaging his scalp, earning himself satisfied hums from Ayan.

He woke up feeling numb but now he was content, at peace. Maybe it was the pills, maybe it was because he got a day off from work or perhaps it was the domesticity of his relationship. Whatever it is, it was making him feel good. He even started to let the idea of having kids play in his thoughts.

Ayan would make a great father, he would be so kind and loving, he would teach their child to stand up for what is good. He can almost imagine Ayan reading "long walk to freedom" a Nelson Mandela biography together with their son or daughter.

Maybe even he could be a good father, he knows he would love the child unconditionally. He has been somewhat stable, his therapist said so.

"The pills seem to be working." His psychiatrist told him. Akk agreed, the pills seem to be working. Other than waking up feeling numb, he is much better. The suicidal thoughts have also subsided, and he hasn't even self-harmed in a long time.

Maybe Ayan is right. Maybe they can have a family, a happy one. Have a child or two and perhaps get a cat. The thought gave him goosebumps and brought a smile to his face.

"What are you smiling about?" Ayan asked softly looking up at Akk.

"I am thinking about us, how about we get a kitten? Then later we can consider adopting a child or two." Akk said softly running a hand through Ayan's hair.

"Really?" Ayan's eyes brightened and a smile creeped across his face.

"Yeah... what do you think?" Akk asked softly and Ayan answered by giving him a big smooch on the lips making Akk giggle.

"I love you so much, Bigfoot." Ayan said, peppering Akk's face with kisses.

"Alright, I love you too, Aye." Akk responded giggling.

Thank you for reading this chapter 🌻💕🌞 give AkkAye children the agenda 🐈🐈‍⬛