drainage

liar

i could always tell when you were lying
because your tone would dim
and you'd get caught on a smirk like you were telling me something slightly funny.
i think, only you got the punchline.

i knew it was too good to be true and even with that,
i wished it away into an unknown valley in my heart.
my doctor keeps telling me to lead by logic,
but how can i?
when all you feed me is a cocaine high
and opiate low. light up the teaspoon;
don't go home.
you begged and begged
hands on your knees like god was a moment away
dont go home. dont run away.
stay with me until my last breath.

but, that of course was just another misguided phrase you said to keep me to stay still, quiet, listening to you.
eyes up as if you are something holy. as if i am a kid again, and you are my only. i wish your dishonesty was a rumor.
i wish you meant it when you told me a lot of things.
partially, when you told me that
the drugs wouldn't sting.
partially, when you told me
that you really loved me.