Fragments of Hearts: A Healing Romance

Chapter Five

After the first day of school, the coming two weeks have been quite uneventful. I've bumped into Chris and his friends quite a few times, but they stopped at some rude comments and looks, which I think is odd. Because of that, I've also gotten way less tense at school, knowing I won't become someones 'toy' as soon as I step in the school.

It's refreshing if you think about it. I can comfortably focus on school, with less panic for survival as before. I've been encountering Erik quite a lot, given he's with me in a few subjects, and in those where Sarah's not there, he sits next to me, because it's always an empty seat.

A few girls tried sitting next to him and switching places with me, but he refused them in my place every time with no hesitation. These girls seem to not get his message however, because they are still trying every time they get a chance to. I would just switch seats with them, since they don't look like they'll stop, but I don't need someone telling me to notice that Erik would genuinely hate that. And I am still to scared of him in order to do what I want.

I believe he somehow 'likes' sitting next to me, because I'm just as quiet as he is, meaning we don't really bother each other. I guess I can be fine with that as long as he won't act like his cousin. He has been keeping his distance not trying to ask or do something uncomfortable, which is why I don't have any reasons to question his persona yet. The only thing that seems to happen, is how often we exchange looks by mistake.It's as if I'm talking to him through our eyes, but I don't understand the 'language' yet.

"Anne, aren't you going to school sweetie?" I hear my aunt ask from downstairs. I'm glad she has a better sense of time than I do.
I finish tying my hair up and take my back before closing the room and heading downstairs into the kitchen where Clara, my aunt, is. The small kitchen looks a mess as she tries to multitask the cooking. My lips curve slightly at her sight.

Before I get to say something, she interrupts my action. "You know, Nicole called again this morning." she sighs. For a second I stop breathing as I hear my moms name. I haven't been thinking about her for weeks, and I feel like I didn't want to think about her for now.

"What did she say?" I find my words, asking as I see Clara turning her head over her shoulder to look at me. She thinks about it a bit before answering "She's asking if you're willing to see her." she observes me more before continuing. "I did tell her how I feel about it and I know you'll deny, but she insisted for me to ask."

I tense a bit, feeling my heart skipping a beat. She dares to require that. I'm not willing to meet with her now. It would be childish of me to say I wouldn't want to see her ever again, I know that at some point I will need to face my mother after all she did, but that time is not now nor in the near future.

I guess I'm still hurt by what happened between us. I didn't deserve the abuse I received from her for such a long time. I do know that she struggled with herself, and combining it with her alcohol addiction, I ended up suffering. People may think that I should just forgive and forget and stay by her side while she's getting the treatment she needs, except I want to be selfish for once, and just take care of myself, help myself before I can help her.

I take a deep breath in. "When she calls again, tell her that I'll contact her once she's done with rehab and when I will feel ready to forgive her." I answer confidently, feeling sure of my decision. If I need to face my demons again, it will be on my terms.

My aunt nods, returning to her preparations, and I head towards the front door, saying a quick 'bye, love you' before closing the door. One thing I can be happy about after the news about my mom, is the fact that I won't have to walk to school, because Sarah's car got repaired. She already waits for me in her small, red car, looking at me through her window.

I rush to get in, seeing how well she matches the car's vibe today as I sit down. She's wearing a dark red dress that goes to her knees and a white t-shirt underneath, making her outfit look simple while still representing her perfectly. Her overall look, brings her long blonde hair and her oval pale face in evidence.

While on our way to school, she doesn't miss telling me how she's been spending her time stalking this one cute guy on Instagram, and how she found out where he goes to school too. I couldn't help but laugh, realizing how invested she was in her 'investigation' of this mysterious crush. It was a welcome distraction from the heavier thoughts lingering in my mind.

I choose to not ruin her day mentioning my mom, so I'll let her know about it after school. I feel like I'm hiding stuff from her, but my reasoning for that is understandable. I still remember the first months where she would be in constant distress with me after she found out about me moving in with my aunt and what my mom did; so much so that she got sick.

For the rest of the ride, I focus on the road ahead of us and on Sarah giving it her all while singing to Britneys "Baby One More Time", me accompanying her. I enjoy the time with Sarah and the 2000s hits while it lasts, namely until we arrive at school.

Just like always, the place is full of highschoolers, Sarah struggling to find a free parking lot. I see the way the greenery around the school gives this place a touch of color, given that the school is mostly white and monochrome if we ignore the graffiti drawings around some corners.

We finally head to the first class, continuing our conversation on the way. Everything seems to be going smoothly, I feel allowed to enjoy today's morning, despite what happened not long ago and also being at school.

Without realizing it, I try to see if Chris and Erik are at school yet. I've noticed how much time Erik spends with Chris, given that they're related, which means that if I see one of them, I'll probably find the other one.

I doubt that my obsessive worries about Chris will stop soon, and the fact that Erik makes me question a lot about him and his relationship with his cousin leaves me more curious than usual. Not only that; the way he tends to look at me, like he's searching for something and seems to get closer the more he observes me, makes me confused, because he seems so cold and unbothered. He hasn't been in the center of attention except for being known as Chris's attractive cousin and he seems like he hates the way people try to talk to him only because of his 'status'.

Just as I think about him, I find his gaze on me as he closes his locker, Chris standing next to him. I look at Erik with the same intensity and creepiness he looks at me, holding my breath. I'm not sure why I choose to stop breathing while we exchange looks, but I feel like that's a stupid action because I feel my face redden.

Despite time feeling like it stopped, the moment I catch Chris looking at Erik curiously then catching my gaze, I rapidly face away as if taken out of a trance. Fortunately for me, I get to enter the classroom as soon as the incident happens; unfortunately for me, I'm giving Chris reasons to think about me and what I'm doing.