I Can't Bleed With the Radio On (Leathermouth Frank)

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(TW - suicidal thoughts, self-harm, and mentions of razor blades.)

~~(Y/N)'s thoughts~~

Just one more. One more is all. I just need to-

The sound of the radio and it's constant static noises irritate me. I can't concentrate with all this noise. It overwhelms me. Turn it off, Frank. It hurts. Please...

"Frank, turn the radio off if you're only going to listen to static!" I yell at him. I sit back on the ground and stare at the sharp object in my hand. The object that has caused me so much damage. I turn to the drawer, open it, and look at the rope inside. The rope that has caused me so much pain. I need help. I know that. I can't ask Frank; what if he thinks I'm weak? He'll go back to Jamia. The radio shuts off with a click, and I turn back to my bloody thighs and wrists. I drag the blade along my wrist, sucking air through my teeth. It hurts so good. I slam the door shut when I hear Frank come up the stairs and sit on the closed toilet.

"Babe, can you open the door? I need to get something." He says. I wrap my arm in a paper towel and open the door, peeking out at him. "Baby, can you open the door please? I won't judge you if you're playing games in the empty tub again." On many occasions, Frank has walked in on me in the middle of the night, gaming on my computer or phone, sitting in the emtpy bathtub with my stuffed bear under my arm. I shove all the razors into the drawer with the rope and close the drawer, opening the door wider.

"What do you need..?" I ask him. I hide my arm behind my back and let him pass. He digs through the closet and eventually pulls out a towel and washcloth. He grabs my arm and puts the wet washcloth over it, making me hiss in pain.

"You know I know, right? I pay attention to your behaviors, your struggles. I care about you, (Y/N)." He says. "Now let me put bandages on you." 

I hold out my arms and let him, surprisingly not crying. After he's done, he throws away all the razorblades and hides the rope before wrestling me onto the couch and cuddles me until I fall asleep. I wake up to the sound of the static of the radio and I sigh, thinking what I always do.

I can't bleed with the radio on.

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