in which Kiana Simmons and Jobe bellingham ignore all the obvious signs of them liking each other, but when the realisation finally hits, it doesn't end up too well...
highest achievements:
1st in #liverpool
1st in #realmadrid
1st in #trentalexander...
THE LAST FEW weeks were just filled with tears and pure junk food. I stayed up in my room, watching TV and blasting Olivia Rodrigo through my speakers. Luckily, my room was soundproof, so it wouldn't bother my parents.
My mum and my relationship grew stronger, though, and I was very grateful for that.
I didn't tell her what I was sulking for, but she always listened to my rants, made sure I ate, and held me in her arms while I cried.
I filmed one last video, doing an extreme Pinterest-inspired room makeover.
It didn't only benefit my fans, but also me because I got to get rid of everything that reminded me of Jude.
Of course, I made sure to blur out the pictures on my wall that had Jude in them, but I'm pretty sure if he watched the video himself, he would know those were our pictures.
At the end of my transformation, my room went from a playful soft pink vibe to a plain white minimalistic vibe.
Despite my mood, I managed to crack a few jokes to lighten the mood of the video.
In the end, I gave them a quick room tour then explained that I was going on a break for a little bit.
Obviously, I didn't tell them why, but I reassured them that everything was fine; I just needed time for myself.
I knew they would understand; my fanbase is the sweetest I've ever seen. They're patient and compassionate, honestly the most supportive people ever.
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That is my daily routine right now, and today isn't much different.
One thing I've learned is that when you're crying, you don't realize how fast time passes. I could wake up crying, and the second I stop, it's already night.
That's how today goes by.
I'm taking this whole 'time to myself' thing seriously because I really need to heal. I delete his number and block him EVERYWHERE because just because I'm soft doesn't mean I'm forgiving. He knows this as well.
I haven't used my phone since, and it isn't as bad as I thought it would be.
I watch a bit of Titanic then prepare to cry myself to sleep.
"Hey baby, I'm back from work," I hear my mum walk over to me. "You're back early," I sniffle, turning to face her, while she caresses my cheek.
"Your tears aren't worth a stupid boy," she carefully wipes my tears away. How does she know? "You know?" I sit up straight and look up at her for the first time today.
