The Professor (Book 2)

16: Cat's Out Of The Bag

The next couple of weeks were very stressful and almost made me regret quitting college. Almost.

The pure process of having to speak to all my professors, the forms I had to fill, the legal and financial advice I had to listen to from my academic adviser, it was all so overwhelming. Everywhere I went, people were telling me to work through it, to not quit just yet, to take a hiatus instead. They told me of the financial stress I'd be going through, the difficulty of living penny to penny, off all the applications I'd have to fill out in search for a job and all the bleak prospects without a proper college education.

But through it all, my determination never wavered. College was not the choice for me, and I knew I needed to get out there and dip my toes into the real world. And even if the whole world refused to support that choice, I would still go through with it.

But luckily, I didn't have to go through it alone.

Harry remained by my side through every step of the way. Partially because he was the benefactor of my scholarship and needed to be part of the drop-out process, but mainly because he understood how important this was to me. He could see my determination and supported it, knowing that sometimes, no matter what people wanted you to do, you knew deep down inside what was best for you.

So for the following weeks, I relied on Harry's support, even whilst wanting to handle it myself. He offered to go with me to the various meetings, to help fill out all the difficult forms, but I kindly declined him. This was my own process, letting go of a dream I had fought for for so long.

– But I had another dream now, and I was going to see it through myself.

Standing in the registrar's office, I was filling out some of the last forms, reading through all the questions they needed me to answer. I was exhausted, mainly because last night, I had made the brave call to tell my mother that I was leaving college. She had blown up, had a full-on hysteric outburst and even went as far as to say she would never forgive me for throwing away my education. Needless to say, the conversation had ended up with her hanging up on me, telling me how disappointed she was.

That had led to some tears falling and needing Harry's comforting arms to bury myself in. He hadn't said a thing, but simply let me have my reaction and held me calmly throughout it. By the end, I felt drained and had fallen asleep in his embrace, but woke up in the middle of the night to find him still holding me. That almost made me cry anew.

I had understood my mother's rage, though. Honestly, I had even been prepared for it, but it still didn't lessen the blow. Of course, I hadn't told her the whole story of why I was quitting and what I was doing afterwards. I wasn't ready to tell her about my relationship with Harry yet, mainly because... I was afraid she would judge me there, too.

Moving in with an older man, not making a life for myself, but simply living off of his comforts.

I had no intentions of relying on Harry's financial comfort, however. I wanted to make my own way, but since Harry had offered that I come live with him, and I didn't want to be apart from him, I had accepted. And that would be the only luxury I would take from him. I insisted that the second I got a paying job, I would tip in on rent. I would share the burden of groceries and utilities and not be reliant on his family money to keep me warm at night.

"I know another way to keep warm anyway," Harry had whispered, before wrapping his arms around me and kissing me softly.

And that was all I needed. His understanding and patience had helped a lot, but after the blow-out with my mom, I was a bit emotionally drained, on top of the whole dropout process. That's why, as I stood in the registrar's office, filling out paperwork, I hardly heard anyone else enter.