“—From a scale of one to ten. How hard was that Math Exam Leonardo because it's 56789 on my scale!”
We're seated outside the green school gates,by the pavement under the shade of the tree, talking.
Dominique goes over the exam answers with me because of how uncertain he is about everything he wrote.
“That exam messed me up man. I'm not even sure I spelt my name correctly. I spelt it —H-E-L-P M-E”
I laugh and he punches my shoulder.
“You enjoy my misery. So I'm guessing it was easy for you.”
I want to tell him about everything that happened this morning. About all the answers I got from my mother and all the ones I didn't get.
I want to tell him that Mkhulu and I will probably never forget this day.
That my mother might not be home when I get there. That I feel like my heart's been replaced by this stone ice and I can't feel anything I'm supposed to be feeling.
I want to tell him that his jokes aren't as funny as I know they would be if I wasn't in this mood.
Instead, I simply answer,” Math is easy Dominique. It's practical and it makes sense. There's an answer to every problem. There's the right answer and the wrong one. There's no grey area. It makes sense.”
“Someone's in love.” Dominique snickers.
I shake my head, flashing a fake smile.
Maybe the Math exam wasn't as easy as I was putting it out to be.I mean, even Mkhulu asked me if I could still write my exam after all that happened.
He was afraid I would break down or pass out during the exam but I told him not to worry. Maybe I was seconds away from breaking down as I held the pen in my hands, staring at the white paper, breathing with everything in me.
But after writing my name and looking through the paper, a weird peace came over me because I knew that the answers were certain.The problems could be solved and the exam would eventually end.
It contrasted greatly against my life which had problems that were bigger than me.
Questions that haunted me— like who is my father.
The fact that I'd have to live with all these problems, questions and baggage for the rest of my life...
The Exam would end but these hurts seemed endless and sometimes melded so much with me that they became my identity.
It was only after a couple of seconds that I realized that Dominique had gone quiet. I was looking down at the road, thinking deeply but when my eyes flicked to his green ones it felt like he knew everything.
“I could shut up if you want me to. I'm so selfish sitting here talking about stupid Math when your life—”
“No Dominique please. Believe me the last thing I wanna think about is home. So continue talking about stupid Math,talk about Cassandra, Barney, Tricolosis Bosis —anything.”
He smiles, it falters.
“Didn't Olivia say we should wait for her at the park. What are you doing here?”
I look away, ashamed.
“I…don't want to see her.”
“Dude, what about the 36 Questions? You're the one who—”
“I know all that Dominique. I just can't today. I can't do anything today. I just. I don't want to see her.” My voice breaks.
A silence settles over us, painful.
YOU ARE READING
36 Questions to Fall in Love...in 36 days!
Romance" Olivia, I liked you from the moment you hiccuped your way into my life. It's funny really but it's the truth. I also wasted a lot of time and this is me trying to fix things. I'm asking you to give me 36 days to show my love for you and for you to...
