4th December 2023— 00: 51🥀
Our eyes talk. The moment the door shut, a silence engulfed the room, filling every space and every thought. Intimate.
Olivia's room is a cluttered mess on a white carpet. The white desk in the corner is filled with piles of books that are on the verge of falling. The blankets on her bed are wrinkled, sticking out in weird places.
There is a teddy bear on the floor and then there's her wardrobe that I only see a glimpse of before she shuts it, flustered.
She forces her gaze away from me, her eyes straying elsewhere.
I want to walk around her room, get a closer look at everything. There is a collage of pictures on the left wall that captures my attention.
Instead, I stay standing, watching her closely. Her pink pajamas, the cute t-shirt and the long pants are something I never knew I needed to see. She looks different, more at ease, a natural beauty taking over her features.
“You shouldn't be here.” She says again, but it's softer and less defiant.
“I know…”
She lifts her head, and for the first time since I stepped into the room her eyes linger on mine, a stronger hold.
“Your brother, he let me in.”
She nods.
I'm a little dry from the rain, the cold having left my skin but I still feel it in my bones.
“You're insane.” She says, “standing in the rain like that. Coming here at this hour, throwing rocks at my window. What if my mother wasn't working the night shift? What if my sister wasn't away with her friends? What if —”
“Well, thank God all those things didn't happen.”
She sighs, her brown eyes softening, her shoulders easing.
We're four feet apart.
Olivia takes a seat on the white carpet, crossing her legs. After hesitating, I take a seat as well.
She clears her throat, her eyes lingering everywhere but me. “That poem…those words that you said outside in the rain...Did you mean it?”
“Every word.”
She looks at me, her eyes searching.
Everything that's built up the past weeks. The fights. The pain. The misunderstanding. The people. It all stands before us, like a blockage, a barrier. Even if we're only four feet apart, it's like all that's happened between us has created this impenetrable force.
Olivia's eyes water, grief transforming her face. When she speaks,her voice wavers. "You make me question my worth."
Her sentence hangs in the air, freezing my heart in one emotion.
She's said this before, I remember but it wasn't like this. It wasn't in the tone she's using now. Her eyes didn't look sad and broken. It was different then than it is now.
"In a good or bad way?" I ask, not wanting to know the answer to that question.
Olivia stares, silent, until "...In a bad way.”
She looks down at her hands, tears escape her eyes and she lets them fall. They drop onto the palms of her hands.
My heart is torn, I've lost the words I never had. I think of leaving, of turning away and sparing Olivia any more pain.
There's no way to fix this. We're four feet apart but the distance seems to stretch for miles, it makes me miss her when she's still in the room.
“I'm going to leave…” I tell Olivia and for a moment I see a flicker of disappointment. Or maybe I'm just imagining. Hoping.
YOU ARE READING
36 Questions to Fall in Love...in 36 days!
Romance" Olivia, I liked you from the moment you hiccuped your way into my life. It's funny really but it's the truth. I also wasted a lot of time and this is me trying to fix things. I'm asking you to give me 36 days to show my love for you and for you to...
