Her. (rough draft)

Excuses

I text my girl.

"Are you going back to the dorm or just staying home?"

She says,

"Im going back to the dorm, im hanging out with Her for a lil & then she's dropping me off"

I say "OK. Have Fun:)"

My mood is soured for the evening. 

It's all I think of.

What if she cheats?

I've been cheated on and didn't know until it was over.

But she would never. She loves me.

I panic. I can't tell her that i'm bothered, I don't want to be that girl.

So I text my friend, she calls me stupid.

So I text my ex, she calls me stupid. 

She calls me insecure,

She points out the if my girl valued me then she wouldn't be out with Her on my day.

Or at all.

She points out that the other girl wants my girl, but this I know.

I've known. It's why I worry.

She says I need to stop accepting such love.

I don't deserve it, she says.

"I won't leave until I have proof she's cheated." I tell her. 

"I know," she says. "You gaslight yourself until you can't anymore. And then you'll make excuses for them"

I hate her, because she's right. 

But I'll forgive my girl, how could I not?