Comfort - Love In The Air Oneshots

Not Broken - PrapaiSky

It had been months since Prapai and Sky made their relationship official. They were already living together, using Prapai’s former hookup condo as their new home. Sky was already in his third year of university and on top of that, he had begun very recently to go to therapy in order to heal from the past. He was given some medication to treat the symptoms and he went to a psychologist every week. Prapai would go with him, taking time off his work to do so in order to be there and support his beloved. Sky had made some progress, his nightmares having decreased considerably and the flashbacks also not being as frequent as before, but occasionally he would have relapses that would make him think that there was no light at the end of the tunnel, just like in this particular time.

It was an average evening. Sky had been working on some assignments after he got home and he had now finished them, leaving him with nothing else to do. Checking out the time, there was still an hour and a half left for Prapai to both finish working and return home, so he had to find a way to kill the time left. Remembering that he had recently been gifted the newest One Piece volumes published in Thailand, he decided to lay down on the bed and read them even though he had already read those chapters when they originally came out through the app he used to read manga. 

As he flipped through the pages, he immersed himself into the story, but he never expected for another episode to begin out of the blue. 

Suddenly, as it used to happen from time to time, he began feeling aware of the damage he had been left with after being with Gun. It didn’t really hurt like so, but he could feel wounds all over his body, even picturing himself with them. He could see them open, leaving trails of blood behind, and the skin was bruised in several areas. Nobody could see those wounds but himself, so no one was truly aware of their existence as such and how deep they were. He felt like he had been broken, torn to pieces and left in a pool of blood. Not only that, but his body felt dirty and used, sparking up shame. 

One thing would lead to the other, so once he would start feeling that, flashbacks would also be triggered. He remembered all those times Gun had beaten him up, how he had hurt him, the way he would yell at him, and how he would use him like a toy in and out of sex. 

His heart was beating very fast and his breaths came out uneven, leaving him unable to breathe properly. He clutched his head as he cried out and begged it all to stop, his mind going insane over the feeling of hands roaming all over his body and soiling it. His vision had become blurry thanks to the tears that were falling down. The voice of the monster, saying he was bored and insulting him, echoed all over his head along with his very image. 

His insecurities also began fronting, making him question everything and sinking him farther. 

‘You are so broken, dirty and used. How could someone really love you?’

‘Prapai will eventually get bored of you, just like Gun did, and he will leave you.’

‘Do you really expect him to love someone in the state you are in?’

‘Everybody gets bored eventually. He won’t be the exception.’

‘You don’t deserve to have Prapai by your side.’

‘You are nothing but a used and broken doll.’

Because his brain was in so much distress, it immediately proceeded to activate his defense mechanism and he began detaching from everything around him and even his own being. He couldn’t feel anything anymore, not even feeling in his own body. He lost awareness of everything around him, becoming lost in the nothingness. It was his only way of dealing with the pain when he thought he wouldn’t be able to bear it. He had become unresponsive, just like when Prapai had saved him from Gun that day.