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by eatjins

by eatjins

nirvana ★彡 01

People always said Michael was dumb.

His lack of intelligence mauled at his self esteem, never having enough self confidence to do anything. Colleagues of many, mutals, and relatives liked to comment about his sorrow feelings, which made him feel even worse about himself. They sang to his head repeatedly, reminding him of a broken record player.

"Michael, you're so stupid"

"Why don't you get it?"

"It's so easy"

"You and your idiotic generation"

And it definitely did not bring any hope when you belonged to a single parent household, only being left with whatever privileges they could afford. From the time he had been living out of Sydney, he honestly felt like he could improve his studies. A million different motives crossed through his mind, like a train station leaving off to a new destination. But, that didn't happen. Instead, his frightened character was introduced to an unfamiliar atmosphere. The depth of his struggles were drowning everything else he ever loved, and he seriously needed help.

On top of everything that ever had happened after the move, Michael was certainly not one of the most popular. He was placed in the outcast category and even knew it himself. He collected a few mutals from the past year, but still felt alone ; eating lunch alone and having no one to pair up when assigned any projects. Shivers of jealousy would attack him in the cafeteria, extremely envious of every one of his peers that had a metal clawed chair to sit in every lunch. All he wanted was someone to talk to, someone to console him when he was feeling down, someone to tell him that they loved him. Was that so hard to find?

It was 8:30 and he had just woken up from his nap. He clawed at his cheek and rubbed his gloomy, crystal eyes. Michael heard footsteps creeping closer and closer to the door of his room and sat up properly. The door slightly opened and Michael's mom, Karen, peeked her head into his bedroom.

"Sweetie pie, Dinner's Ready!" Karen walked closer to Michael and kissed his forehead."It's one of your favorites, mac n' cheese."

"Okay," Michael mumbled, folding the blankets and placing his stuffed animals in the correct order.

They walked downstairs and sat down at their granite table. Michael stabbed the noodles with the fork and stuffed his mouth with one noodle at a time. The clanging sound of the fork pierces through Karen's ears, catching her attention..

"Mikey, what's wrong?" Karen asked, putting her hand on his long fingers.

"Life is just not fair!" He let go of his fork and stood up from the table."Everyone is just so smart and they have their whole future planned out, and I don't even know what I want for breakfast tomorrow," He sat down and started breathing heavily, rubbing his forehead.

"Calm down, Sweetie," Karen huffed putting her arm around Michael. Whenever Michael was angry or hurt, the only thing he actually needed, was his mother's affection, which was often.

"Look," She held Michael by his chin and turned his head. " Things will get better, okay? All I want you to do is to try your best," Karen smiled sweetly and sat back in her chair.

"Okay," Michael murmured. He didn't know what to say. It was just so complicated and he wondered if he would ever improve. It was unlikely.

After dinner, he walked up the stairs, back to his bedroom, where his expression remained the same, confused and hopeless. Michael felt that this life was a shell, coating him with doubt, with letting him express his lack of ability to ever prove that he was smart.

This was just a regular outburst he would have at least once a week, and it was getting worse each time. Nothing was going to get better, and Michael already knew that from the beginning.

★彡

hi everyone ! this is the prologue type of thing for nirvana and i'm very on how it turned out

+ + shoutout to my faves
dotclifford peekabooirwin squattmccall CakexCameron Krystalklearbish maybeluke -bambihood falloutirwin ghostfuentes sighcalum roIlerskates stormydayluke redflannels tomlin-fox brighteyedirwin grungeirxin wintercoats shutupirwin impediment

i hope you guys liked this :)

kai