nirvana; malum [ON HOLD]

03

nirvana ★彡 03

Michael is gone.

His mind was completely captivated by clouds of imagination, such as glistening stars and lunar night skies, examples of things that were a lot more interesting than fifth period. He rubbed his eyes in anxiousness as his teeth chattered to the noise of the plastic clock that lay on the left side of the classroom. There was only three minutes left, and Michael was looking to leave as quick as possible.

So far, his day had the same experience as yesterday, and it was kind of becoming a routine. He would eat lunch alone in the small corner of the cafeteria under a slender fan that blew ice cold air throughout the entire atmosphere. Around the same time everyday, he had to restrain from small drops of loneliness escaping his pupils as his hands roamed the brown paper lunch bag for a ham sandwich. Michael sat in the exact same spot of the cafeteria, in the exact same position as he was the day before, feeling the same awful, aching feeling as he did before.

While waiting for the final seconds of fifth period, his eyes are alert. So focused on unlocking his bicycle from the bike rest and heading home, just so he could dive into his blue plaid patterned bed, the same place he was this morning. He stares blankly at the shaded lights glued to the pale ceiling.

"Michael?" A voice creates a silhouette through his thoughts.

He looks around and  sees an empty, blank void. He's late for his next period. "Oh, I'm sorry," Michael stutters. Tired hands that belong to the lost boy hurl the books, nudging them to his shoulder as he runs to room eighteen, the worn backpack barely attached to his shoulders.

The red haired boy arrives, his teacher oblivious of the fact that he interrupted the lesson at the wrong time. He's scattered, spotting a polygon shaped desk and running silently to it. He opens his backpack reaching in for a hard, red history textbook, also realizing he had been carrying his backpack all this time. An explosion of frustration filled grunts punch through the room, similar to a storm, hurling to the front of the classroom, causing the whole class to laugh.

"Oh, Michael, I see you're finally here. Haha, with all that noise in the back, I thought I would never be able to start the lesson," His teacher laughs along with the other students, finally starting the lesson.

Cheeks burn of excessive blush and hands beat of humiliation. His mind creates a vision of Michael heading to the beach after school and burying his head in sand, erasing a fraction of the embarrassment. He leans back in the uncomfortable plastic lay his head on the desk, attempting to fall asleep.

"For the whole year, we will be reviewing past history concepts you have already learned. Anywhere, from Buddhism to Medival Japan eras. You will be working in groups in two, and will have to write a few reports on each topic, answering specific questions that I'll be asking about each history era," Michael's history teacher instructs.

Groans echo, as they bounce vibes of irritation off the aged walls. "Guys, quit it! We're gonna be starting the lesson today, and it'll be very easy for some of you," The instructor hisses. "Our first informative lesson will be Buddhism."

A single line of air brushes the surface of his face making him sneeze. No one has enough courtesy to address Michael a 'thank you', and that's enough for the chilling, silver zipper on his jacket to raise a tiny bit higher. He looks around and half of the class were drowned in their own minor habits to pass time and it sort of intrigues him. None of his colleagues seem to be paying any glimpses of attention, and it kind of makes him feel a little bit more at home. Maybe he was just as normal as everyone as else.

"The whole purpose for the Buddhist's path was to reach nirvana. Nirvana basically meant a 'blowing out' of all sins and spirits in Buddhism. Ignorance would be a trait in any person that would be extinguished once they have reached nirvana," The tall instructor explains, drawing a life cycle on the white board. "We will be discussing more about this tomorrow, but if you have any questions or comments to add, that would be great!"

Michael winces. Sound ears perk up in a fast motion causing him to mentally squeal. Nirvana was his favorite band, his body regularly used to the mindless sway everytime his favorite song 'Something In the Way' toyed with his feelings, wanting to be as talented as them one day. He indecisively chooses to raise his hand and pale beads of sweat pet his head, afraid of humiliation once again. It's his first time filling in on minor participation and absolutely does not know what to expect. Fingers fiddle in fear, the veins in his heart collapse.

"Yes Michael?" His teacher was in utter shock, oddly straightening his broad shoulders.

Michael mutters a few words, looking directly down at his feet,"Nirvana, like the rock band?"

"You're an idiot"

Saliva caught in Michael's throat,"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, you're clearly an uneducated attention seeker who is only trying to make the class laugh. Were you even listening to the last fourty minutes of the lesson?" Calum pounced, setting a fierce, infuriated note in his tone.

The small fragment flung from across the room causing an ocean of laughter to roar off the coast of his feelings.  He was clueless, wondering why everyone was cackling at him. His eyes drew big, watery tears, taking all his strength to push them back in. All the attention was preparing him to explode out of embarrassment, his cheeks so red, flakes of steam could be seen surfacing the bare skin of curiosity.

"Calum, that was rude!" The instructor scolded. "Apologize right now."

Calum chuckles, barely processing the words out of his dishonest speak," I'm sorry, Michael." He then snickers, his cherry lips gushing out lies," I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

Michael punctures his teeth into lip, holding enough pressure for his mouth to release blood on to his tongue. His mouth throbs almost as heavily as his heart rate, nerves tucked deep inside his spine slowly crawling out and biting his inner soul. And, All Michael wants to do is get up from his chair and scream in Calum's face for humiliating him, but it was his fault. It was his fault for being stupid enough to say such idiotic things. It was his fault for attempting to make an effort of participating for once. And, it was definitely his fault for being the social psychopath freak everyone hated being around.

The sound of the bell had produced a loud chime, alerting everyone to head outside. It was so wild, like a tragic zoo, with loud roars and uneducated teenagers being trampled on by others. When Michael gets home, he was going to etch a red, poisoned x on his calendar, symbolizing the worst day of his life.

☆彡

yO yO yO

i literally make calum mean in all my stories im so sorry omg. bUT TRUST ME, he will get nicer haha.

idk if any of you care lmao, but a new malum fic will be out soon and i am in the middle of writing the first chapter rn, and it's turning out v good in my opinion. + i also have a special short story coming out in the christmas time !!

+ for every time you don't comment, michael will not lure customers with his hotdog sign in the hey everybody ! music video and ik a lot of you care about him, so go comment away !

i hope you guys enjoyed & stay tuned for more

- kailin