nirvana; malum [ON HOLD]

02

nirvana ★彡 02

People always said Calum would evolve into the next, more modern Albert Einstein.

He was a genius; figuring out substitute formulas, knowing missing compounds in chemistry experiments, and being the one to easily comprehend plots in novels were his regular doings amongst everyday life. A lot of people admired the amount of satisfaction and integrity he had towards everything in life, but to be truthfully honest, Calum was wearing a mask.

Soft sounds of giggling, slight turning of the lips, and the meaningless compliments he would give were all fake, a role that was his life, which he was playing fairly well.

His family's opened mouths constantly gnawed at his loose ends, ordering him to take his professions as a doctor and to receive eight years of education after college. They wanted him to be successful for their own benefits and for him to start a family with a woman he wasn't even fond of. Calum was tired of hearing the nonsense.

He wasn't interested in sports, or anything a regular teenage boy was regularly into. Instead, Calum liked smelling like velvety pink cotton and blue candy swirls. He imagines what his finger nails would look like in dark shades of purple hues. And most of all, he enjoyed putting plushy, sequins bows all over his head and pushing a beanie on top, afraid of anyone seeing. Calum liked being feminine, but just couldn't show it.

He sits at the brown desk at the far end of the room, asleep. Pierced eyes closed and smooth cheeks glued to the table. Loud tapping noises echo through the frail window, making his eyelids wince as he wakes up. A single moan yearns through his body as Calum cranes his body to the left and yawns. There was a thin tree branch knocking at the corner of the wall, creating the same sound repetitively at the peak of the its skin. Calum scoffs, realizing he woke up for nothing.

He ruffles the transitioning blonde tufts of his hair and sees the a sea of written documents smothered across the floor of his desk. Neat, cursive swirls smear with the help of coffee cup rings Calum left up upon his notes. Calum's long fingers caress his eyes as he shuffles the scientifically proven fact filled papers and fits them into a sleek, bland binder that smelled roughly of aromatic lavender he had put inside the pocket earlier. He takes a whiff of the scent before shoving it inside his backpack.

It's one in the morning and he has to wake up in five hours. He had just woken up from his nap and he did not feel an ounce of urgency to sleep. Adult voices chatter against the wooden walls of his room. Calum walks out of his room and his eyes stare at his parents talking in the kitchen, tense auras of slience and cunning stares shoot through the room.

Calum triggers his head downwards as saliva trickles down his throat,"Uh, I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

"Night," Both adults blankly whisper. Calum and his parents usually had a decent relationship, his much desired presents were received on every birthday, warm hugs and kisses whenever he won an academic contest, or the times when they would tuck Calum under then covers every night he went to bed. But lately, it's been different.

They would have cold conversations in the misty night, mysterious whispers and a loud slur would rip out of its cage once in a while. It reminded Calum of a roller coaster ride, high madness that flew in many directions. Calum stands in the shallow hallway in hopes of hearing at least a line of their conversation. He places his hand on his mouth and then lightly bites his lip, eyes close for a matter of seconds as he tries to concentrate.

He hears nothing.

Calum sighs and saunters a minimal amount of steps into his bedroom where he unfolds the sheets and lays down. The lamp on the side of his nightstand is turned off, but he turns on the tv to assure some light and entertainment through the lonely atmosphere.

Blue lights flash from the television screen and faint character conversations of shallow reality sitcoms pass through Calum's ears like race cars. He laughs at a small comment about incorrect interpretations of literature a random actor made and decides to try to have the five hours of sleep.

He removes his beanie from the ruffled mess of his hair and readjusts the multiple bows that were scattered throughout his head. His awake eyes stretch and reattach the girly items as he shoves the beanie back on. Calum feels as if he could just imagine what it would be like to be happy, even though he didn't have much time. Pupils dialate and reflect in the dark as the tan skinned boy turns down the volume to 'quiet' which appears on the screen. Eyes swirl in the near sighted distance as he peers to look under his bed and claws his hand under to grab a leather book.

Knitted lace surges throughout the perimeter of the book, smooth material with reflective sheen is pasted over the ideas Calum is actually writing. He opens it up and places the attached pen into his mouth. He jots down the word 'happiness' on the third page of the book and feels like throwing a tantrum. Every letter that seeps through the pages are words that Calum doesn't understand. He has either never felt it, or it's what he's feeling deep down.

Calum shuts off his tv with one click of a button and starts sniffling; pain seeps through his chest deeper than any page he could've ever wrote. Salty sadness drips down his cheeks as he realizes one thing.

He was never going to be happy again, and Calum already knew that from the beginning.

☆彡
dedicated to redflannels because she said she loved my writing in the last chapter and that made my heart happy

first of all, hello guys ! how are you guys? i haven't updated in 10489373 years, but ive recently got some inspiration. and from now on, ill only be writing malum stories. they are so alive and i love them so much, but i have decided to delete hell above and exonerate because i kinda lost inspiration :/ but, a new malum story is on the way :)

um i know you guys think this is really annoying, and it's the last time im ever going to do it on this book, but i really want to thank you guys. you guys make me so happy and i don't know if i could even write anything, if it wasn't for you. i love you and am so grateful for all my friends :: squattmccall jackskellingtons parkingchanyeols -hoseoks brighteyedirwin -klimt -flyaway -bambihood babyboycal breakfastclxb florenteens -flyaway sighcalum MARTINlS impediment euphoriashton -londonskies spookypeters  chokertattoo michaelway mwchael grungeirxin NINETIESMALUM strawharries tomlin-fox 0utdated

i hope you guys liked this and stay tuned for more !

kailin