F1 Reader Inserts

Meant To Be || LN4

Summary: If you love someone, set them free; if they come back to you, it was meant to be.

The letter in your hands trembled, the only sound in the house coming from the crinkle of the paper. Your mouth was dry but your cheeks were wet. This moment had been months in the making and you had thought of every possible outcome, but now that it was here it was harder than the worst that you had imagined.

"Well, what does it say?" You tore your eyes away from your future written in the ink to look at Lando. He already knew, the truth showed in his misted eyes, but he needed to hear the confirmation from your lips.

"I got in."

The quiet words were absorbed by the apartment you had shared with Lando for three wonderful years. You had thought the day you left this apartment would be when you outgrew it with the future you had planned together. But life was funny that way, when a once in a lifetime opportunity came your way everything changed.

"Congratulations."

You tried to smile but, like his tone, you couldn't fake feeling excited in this moment. "Thank you."

The next week passed slowly as you both tiptoed around the subject of your departure, neither ready to have the conversation that hung like a guillotine above your heads. Lando noticed the small changes around the apartment; the spaces on the walls where pictures were framed, the gaps in the wardrobe where clothes hung, the lack of bobby pins he always complained about. He could feel you slipping away.

"It's only for a year," Lando murmured in the dark as you perched on the precipice of sleep. "You'll come back, right?"

"A year is a long time, Lan." You reached for the lamp and illuminated the room before rolling over to face him. Dark bags hung under his eyes from the hours he laid awake watching you, wondering how many more opportunities he would get to do something so simple. "I want to say yes, but I don't know where this opportunity will take me next."

He rolled onto his back and stared at the shadows in the ceiling. "You could have just lied."

"You want to play pretend?" you asked softly as you reached for his cheek. "You're my best friend, Lan. You know me better than anyone."

He cupped your hand against his face and memorised the way it felt, the warmth that radiated from your skin. "You're more than just my best friend, and you'll always be more. We don't have to pretend that."

"We do tonight," you whispered. "Tomorrow...tomorrow is it, I'm going and I don't want either of us stuck in limbo. A year is a long time, you might fall in love with someone else and I don't want you to feel guilty for it because I'm not there." The idea was a heavy weight on your chest and the words tasted bitter in your mouth but it was the truth. "I don't want you to wait for me."

Lando took your hand and draped it over his shoulder so he could pull your body closer until you were chest to chest. You could see the promise about to fall from his parted lips but you couldn't bear to hear it, so you stole the words with a kiss.

Neither of you brought attention to the tears that dampened your cheeks, or that taste of salt on his lips. Neither of you broke the charade of lovers embracing in the small hours of the night.

Dawn came without the call of the gulls in the mariner or the colourful shades of yellows and oranges that usually greeted Monaco. Dawn came in a wash of grey that darkened along the horizon with a gathering storm.

"Aren't you scared?" he asked, his voice breaking under the strain of the night.

"No, I'm not scared, Lan. Are you?"