Seasons

Sashes Across the Hearts

Anntonia's POV:

We wrapped up our morning activity by going to a yoga session with the other delegates. I am now feeling relaxed and light because of the routines we did. It's like it was battling and pushing my internal pains away.
 

The girls were grouped separately today, and each group has a different activity elsewhere.
 

Now, we're at the shuttle waiting for the remaining staff and candidates to get in so that we can go back to the hotel and be ready to shoot a series of sponsor contents.
 

When we're all good and ready to go, the staff reminded us to buckle up and sit comfortably for the rest of the trip.
 

Miss Germany was sitting beside me and was talking about the experience she had when she stopped by in Thailand before heading here to El Salvador. She even mentioned that she met Anchille and Celeste at one of the ice cream parlors near the airport.
 

All throughout the trip, I managed to regain my talkative side and have a really long conversation with the girls. Aside from Miss Germany, Miss Nepal and Miss Canada also joined the conversation when they heard us talking about going to Madrid to watch a theater show.
 

After quite a long ride, we reached the hotel, and the people in the shuttle departed slowly, one by one. Good thing here in El Salvador; it wasn't that hot and wasn't that cold either. The sunlight can be somehow irritating, but the temperature wasn't too intense. It's just a bit similar to the temperature in my country.
 

Right after stepping in the hotel, I kind of walked hastily, but still not making it too obvious because the media and couple of pageant enthusiasts are here, waiting for the girls to arrive so that they could provide a real-time update to the fans all over the world.
 

I started waving my hands and smiling widely when I reached the hallway, and there were people who were chanting the name of our country. They even brought flags, and they wave them energetically when their respective bet passes by.
 

I saw this group of people wearing a badge of the Thailand flag. I felt energized after seeing them, and I am very grateful for their active presence. They make sure that I am well and fine. They never fail to joke around and ask me if I am still in my best shape every day.
 

When I reached the hallway for the girls' rooms, I walked fast again to reach my room. I have been resisting this since earlier, but I honestly need to pee.
 

Right after opening the door, I saw Miss Laos unlocking her huge stroller bag.

"Hello. Gotta pee!" I greeted first before rushing to our comfort room.
 

I immediately did what had to be done and did my hygienic routine before stepping out of the comfort room. I watch Miss Laos slowly tap the stuff that the luggage contains. I removed my sash and hid it in the drawer on my bedside table.
 

I was left in awe when Miss Laos got up from sitting and lifted a huge piece of wooden stuff with patterned fabrics, and there's something on the top that I consider to be a highlight because it looks like a type of fabric that is similar to the skin of a mammal.
 

"Wow.."
 

Miss Laos smirked a little and looked at me. "Stop that. You're country exceeds more effort in this than we do."
 

"All of us do, for sure. Yours is very regal, though."
 

She warmly smiled, looking at the costume. "It feels so surreal, don't you think?" She said. Her voice speaks of so much pride and dedication to representing her country.
 

I suddenly felt pressured again. Being able to have the chance to be part of this is such an honor.
 

"Few days more," I responded, resting my back on the pillows as I continued to observe how she carefully admired her costume.
 

"Whatever happens," she said, paused for a while, and exhaled. "I carried Laos with so much love beaming in my heart."
 

That statement made me smile weakly. All of the girls gathered here with the hope of snatching the crown. The title itself holds a very wide power to connect and bring about more charitable programs that could help the less fortunate.
 

All of these girls have the heart to be beacons of light for the people who benefit from the activities they champion.

"For real. But weren't you paranoid? You're opening that even before the actual day of the NatCos showcase. What if someone dares to sabotage you?" I hypothetically asked. I am not her, but the thought of opening one of your most important pieces days before the pageant gets me.
 

"The girls don't look like they could at all." She paused. "And if someone does, it's not my loss. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain."
 

"That's inspiring. I hope we make it."
 

"You will." She warmly smiled at me and started putting the NatCos piece back in her luggage carefully.

"And so are you."
 

"Less expectation, less pain."
 

I felt a punch in my heart when I heard what she just said. It's true, yes. But it is kind of heartbreaking for me that there are women in this competition who think that just being here is enough and that there's no more goal left to be hoped for.
 

It's like some of them think that they would not advance.
 

I remained silent the entire hour and let my roommate do whatever she had to do for her next activity. I covered myself with the blanket to avoid feeling this fear of not being able to exceed the expectations of the people that support me.
 

Not so long ago, I had to get up and prepare for my next stop, which is content creation for the sponsors. We had a schedule with MUBA where the team selected five delegates, and I was lucky enough to be part of it.
 

We had it finished quickly, so we were done with the rest of the activity for the day by probably around 9 p.m.

I was fully preoccupied by the conversation I had with Miss Laos earlier. It triggered me in some sense that I felt like it was real—the pressure, the weight of representing a powerhouse country. I was kind of disappointed with how I acted after that because I felt like everything I've done came off as raw, and it's like I was just forced to show up just because I was chosen.
 

I just continued walking in the hallway, trying my best not to give in to the clash of different emotions I was feeling inside. I just have to rest and clear my mind, and all will be okay eventually, hopefully.
 

I stopped in front of the door and lifted my hand, not because I was getting my spare card, but to knock.
 

The door opened, and I sensed myself being completely spent and drained but content at the same time.

This is where my feet brought me.
 

"Dee.."
 

------------