Solace

|3| life

NIDHI

"Sit down, Beta", he uttered,as I stepped into his cabin his figure settled comfortably behind the expansive desk, while his nameplate prominently displayed his title: Dr. Suresh Khanna, Cardiologist. Slowly, I made my way towards the visitor's seat, observing his intense scrutiny of the reports spread before him-no doubt, my father's report.

"Beta, Ajay is not fine. He is under a lot of stress, talk to him about it. Inquire him about the source of his distress. Otherwise, his health may deteriorate over time. This incident wasn't severe, but we can't predict the future. Get the prescribed medications and continue the one's he is already taking," Dr Khanna stated, after five minutes of me sitting before him on the visitors chair

"One more thing, we will discharge him tomorrow, but he will remain under observation until morning," he spoke, raising his head to meet my eyes.

"Yes, Uncle," I mumbled, fear was constricting my being, I didn't have many people, whom I could call mine, anything happening to Papa, this thought itself was so traumatizing that I couldn't even think much about it.

After this brief conversation, I walked out of the cabin. Mumma was sitting outside, leaned against the chair kept outside the cabin. Her eyes were closed like she was half asleep.
I approached Shivani and said,"Shivani you and mumma go home. I will be with Papa. Take care of her and for tonight sleep with her, she must not sleep alone."

Shivani nodded and strolled towards where Mumma was sitting.

"Mumma, let's go. Di will be here with Papa," Shivani said comforting her by stroking her shoulder.

As Shivani spoke, she rose gracefully from her chair, casting me a piercing glare brimming with anger and irritation-emotions and expressions I had grown accustomed to from her. She adjusted her posture meticulously, mindful of the discomfort that prolonged sitting often inflicted upon her back. Slowly, she began to walk, leaning on Shivani for support, her gaze fixed upon me as though I were some abhorrent creature.

As she departed, I made my way to the room where Papa was to be housed for the night, a space the doctor had permitted me to occupy, albeit alone. Throughout the night, I remained seated beside him, clutching his hand tightly, only relinquishing my hold for his well-being. This routine had defined nearly twenty-four years of my life. As I matured, my faith in God deepened with each passing day. Tonight was no exception; maintaining my sanity required a steadfast belief. Amidst the chaos, I couldn't afford to dwell on the negatives; instead, I focused on the positives-the half-filled glass.

Learning to find contentment with the bare minimum was a lesson I'd embraced wholeheartedly. For me, there was no such thing as unconditional love; love came with conditions, and meeting those conditions determined whether people would love or abandon you.

I found myself lacking a substantial circle of loved ones to call my own. It was primarily Papa, Priya, and Shivani, though Shivani was too young to offer reliable support, being nearly five years my junior. The burden of reliance rested on me, not her. Once, Rohit was also a part of my trusted circle, but his betrayal shattered that bond. Just a year ago, he professed his love for me, though I remained skeptical. Despite my doubts, he persisted, but in hindsight, I recognize the subtle warning signs he carelessly displayed-his fixation on my father's business during our conversations, his indirect inquiries that inevitably circled back to financial matters.

Our encounters were infrequent; he preferred telephone conversations over face-to-face meetings. Although he did invite me to his home, he introduced me merely as a friend. At the time, I attributed his reluctance for marriage to his lack of stability, but now I understand his true motives-he sought reassurance of financial gain through our relationship. Once assured, he callously abandoned me.