A Trios Love (MxMxM)

59: Give It A Go

3 days down the line and I've finally gotten George to eat close to an average amount. Close to. He's been really sad these 3 days. He gets very excited at every knock thinking it's Josh. We've gotten a few letters from him, phone's weren't allowed as the "distract from training." The letters have been promising so far. Just him explaining that he mostly works with the caregivers and looking after the littles and children keeping them in a safe place, he's barly seen any rouges. Good news. He will always mention that he misses us and that he's not too sure when this will end. When hes allowed to come back. It might be an extra week or two. This made both of us quite sad. It was more difficult for George than it was for me. I could completely understand but George's fears grew. He couldn't stop thinking about how Josh may not come home, how he may leave us forever. Ive been lenient on his alone time. Cutting it down to 5 or 10 minutes, already not having Josh here was far too much already. He'd stay by my side everyday, not even playing with Delilah or Jules barly being able to speak with them even at meal times. They tried though, to keep his spirits up with stories of how stoick and strong Josh is, how he could defeat the deadliest dragon with his eyes closed and one hand tied behind his back. Sometimes the stories would help. But most of the time George was too worried and not little enough to believe it.

"Come on bub it's time for therapy." I've kept him in his routine, something I was told could help. Up at 8:30 breakfast at 9, toilet and teeth and a little play time till 10 then I had work so we'd be in my office till 12 then it's lunch then alone time then nap, after I had work and he had play time. Or was ment to, he'd sit in a little desk next to me writing letters to Josh and drawing pictures till it was 3. Then we'd take a break, go for a stroll or I help him with his letters or maybe another nap time if he needed it. Just until dinner after dinner it was a shower or a bath then a bedtime story, read Josh's notes and sleep time. Usually he'd have a night terror about Josh dying or just never coming back in the middle of the night and I'd cuddle him tighter and sing him a lullaby, it was never as good as Josh did.

George loved Josh's smooth singing voice. As did I, when I couldn't go to sleep for the few weeks we had George back from the incident Josh would sing me to sleep too. His voice as smooth and tick as honey, I missed him so much. He had to be back soon. It can't take too long for a pack to fight off some rouges. I offered my help to the pack but they would just say it was a wolf's thing and say that they needed to do it themselves but if they got desperate they would contact me.

"Nooooo." George groaned, I know he hated therapy, he's rejected counseling since day one. I know it wouldn't be easy and I knew he hated it but I knew it was helping. Just a little bit. Small things. His dreams were a little less heated more about us than his family. He refuses to talk about it when I ask so I'm hoping therapy can get him on a much better track than either Josh or I could.

"I know you don't like it but we have to go, it'll help you and get you in a better Mind frame, you can talk to her about Josh and she may have a way to help you in a way that I can't." I explain. He had just had his first nap and he hates waking up from naps and I'd usually let him sleep in and would only wake him when necessary.

"Fiiiinnneeeeee. Are you gonna stay in the room?" He asked sitting up yawning and stretching his arms, his hair a tangled mess.

"Maybe, I'll see what I can do, but it's ment to be just you and her. I'll sit right outside the door just like last time and I won't move." He agreed, surprising me. I take his hand and lead him to the cupboard and got him into more comfortable clothes. One of Josh's oversized black tees and some shorts, he hasn't really been in little space often and I've found when he wears Josh's clothes he feels much more comfortable and willing to not be right by my side even when he's not in little space.

We made our way to the front of her office and I gave a knock, waiting for a response. She had opened the door and welcomed us with a warm smile.

"Hi George, hi will." She needed always in a good mood. She's been a good therapist throughout the years. Charlie mentioned how good she was and how she had helped Delilah through her personal issues. So I thought we could start with her and she seemes to be quite good at her job, I know she's helped me and I was just hoping she could help George.

* * * George pov * * *

I entered her office. Saying a quick bye to Will, watching as he sat down on the floor by the door .

"Hi George how are you feeling today?" She opens us. I didn't know how to respond to that question. I usually answer with a quick fine and hope that the session ends as fast as it begins, but it never does. And I wasn't fine, I was distraught and sad about Josh not being here. The smallest things would set me off hoping he came back early and wishing for him to just turn up at the door and the three of us just walking away in the sunset but he's at war. He's looking after his pack. He's making sure people are safe. I mean he will one day be the alpha to it and what not.

"I don't know." I respond looking at the door watching the shadow move a little so he was more propped against the door.

"Where is Josh today?" She asks taking notice of my different response. This made me pause. I hate when she just wants to know everything.

"Um. Back with his pack." I answer. She knew all about Josh and him being a werewolf. She had been working with wills family for many years helping troubled vampires through their worst issues.

"Back with his pack?' she repeats. "Why is he back there?" She asks writing notes down.

"War and rouges." I explain briefly, she didn't need to know details. I didn't even know details. All I knew was that it was important to him and it was out of his control.

"It must be scary with him gone." She sympathises, looking at me with pity. I fucking hate pity.

"Yeah sure."

"You're very closed off George, would you like to explain to me why?" She asked, I look towards her briefly, did I want to tell her? No, but I did say I would give it a try, maybe this is not such a heavy subject to start with.

"I don't know, fucked up shit happened in the past and now I'm fucked up and hate therapists." I look back to the door watching Wills shadow shuffle around from under the door.

"Do you think you could disclose what happened? Only if you're comfortable of course." I thought about it for a moment. How I was gonna word it, if I even wanted to talk about it.

"I don't know. Um. I guess, in the past I went to a consider for pstd and stuff... He wasn't really good at his job. Gave me the wrong medication, made me believe I was crazy, wasn't interested in anything I had to say. Counseling was a water of time and a waste of money. The second time I went to a therapist she was similar. Didn't care. This time I didn't waste anything and just stopped going. Two out of, now, three times they haven't cared and they all started out like you. Interested, taking notes, repeating things I said like they were comprehending anything in their dumb ass microscopic sized Brian's. All had stupid phd's hi g up on their walls showing off how qualified they were. This whole thing is a scam and there is no point in participating in something if all I really have is myself to fix it." I rant, I didn't expect to word vomit like that. I didn't expect how angry I got and how she didn't interrupt. She listened. She nod. She wrote her notes.

She took a moment seeing if I had anything else to say. She put her book down and looked at me with a face Ive never been able to read.

"I want you to take a deep breath. In through the nose for four seconds hold for two and out for two." She showed me how to do it. In one two three four, hold five and six, out seven and eight. We did that a few times and I actually felt calm. I still felt the annoyance in the back of my heart but it just felt more manageable.

"Thank you for sharing that important bit of your past with me." She began. "You're doing a great job opening up and I am getting a better sense of how your mind reacts and takes trauma. I can tell this was a big step for you and I'm glad you were able to feel safe enough to tell me." My heart swelled with the praise and my shoulders felt less tense, I felt like I could breathe. It felt good telling her that, even if it was just something small. I didn't lie, I didn't scream, I didn't get too angry I just told her what happened and that was that. She didn't push any medication on me and let me just talk, she didn't interrupt me and I actually felt heard. Maybe it isn't all that bad.

"That'll be all for our session, you did so well George. So well. I'm very proud. You can go back to your daddy now." She smiled getting up and walking me to the door. As the door opened calmly Will got up off the floor and dusted himself off.

"How was it?" He asked me. I smiled and pulled his arm walking away not saying good bye or thank you, Ive been too stubborn every session to. Even now when she did help a little bit I couldn't bring myself. But I did feel slightly, a miniscule amount better than I did before.