saihiro/suegiku shiz but idk how to write

silly tecchou tries cooking :3

(fluff bcz im not a proffesional smut writer ☹️☹️)

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*no one's pov*

it was a beautiful saturday... where there was 2 idiots in the kitchen, named teruko and tecchou, hopelessly trying to bake a cheese cake.

"tecchou, you dont put fucking mayonaise on a cheese cake." teruko scolds, mentally facepalming.

"but the colors are the same.." tecchou said, confused of why he cant put mayonaise in a cheese cake.

"tecchou no." teruko said dissapointedly.

"why." the dumb dark-haired questions.

"think of jouno, tecchou! think of jouno!!! would he be happy if you serve him a cheese cake with mayonaise?!" teruko yelled out.

"i guess.. not? oh right, jouno doesnt like my weird food combos. i guess i should just listen to your instructions, vice commander." tecchou finally gaining a braincell.

"finally!!! now listen to me, you put eggs first, and then, you... uhm..." yeah. none of them knew how to bake a cake. "you.. put salt! and then- put water and stirrrrrr!!!" teruko finished her 'instructions'
"salt...? but arent cakes supposed to be sweet...? well, sweet and salty does make a good combo i guess." tecchou said blankly, quite confused at the same time.
"wait.. youre right... cakes are sweet... uhm......" teruko said, having clearly no idea how to actually bake a cake.
"arent you friends with that pee-coloured haired kid? the one from the detective agency??" teruko asks tecchou.
"first of all, its not 'pee-colored' dont mock him like that. and yes, i am friends with kenji." tecchou answered.
"isn't he a farmer boy?" teruko asks again
"yeah.. i guess..?" tecchou replied.
"great!!!!!!! lets ask him how to bake a cake then!!! theres no farmers out there that doesnt know how to cook, right?!?" teruko happily said
"isnt he 14 yrs old tho...? shouldn't we ask tachihara inste-" tecchou's sentence were interrupted. "no no! tachihara stink. we mustn't ask a stinky person to bake something. unless you want your cake to be smeelllyyyy and then your beloved jouno will get mad?! u dont want that righht, tecchou?" teruko scolds.
"you're right.. i think.." the dumb dark haired boy so named "tecchou" said.

---- meeting kenji :3
the 3 idiots stood there awkwardly.

"you want me to help you bake a cake for this 'jouno' person?" kenji, the 14 year old boy who doesnt even understands how money works, asking the 2 idiotic grownups.

"correct, pee- i mean kenji!" teruko yells. the only reason she didnt said "pee-haired or pee-colored-haired-boy was because of tecchou's glare.

'well okay! i will help out!" kenji says smiling. although... he doesnt even knows how to cook a cheese cake..

----at the kitchen again.

"put..... 20 kilograms of cow milk... 5 eggs... 14 spoons of sugar.... .. and 5 bags of flours!!" the 14 year old boy happily instructed.

"20 kilograms of cow milk..?" tecchou thought to himself.

"thank you pee hai- KENJI!!!! " teruko, almost accidentally saying 'pee-haired-boy' and receiving a glare from tecchou.

"now put it in the oven- for.... eh.. i dont know..." it's now very well known that kenji doesn't actually knows what he's doing.. i mean he is 14 yrs old..?

"2 hours!!" teruko shouts out confidently.

tecchou was having a bad feeling that this cake is gonna turn like diarrhea..
well, 2 hours had passed and lets say the cake looked... unpleasing.. tecchou very wells know that if jouno wasnt blind, this cake wouldve been rejected immediately with no hesitation.

"sprinkle it with cheese now! its called cheese cake for a reason, you got me?" teruko confidently instructed.
so, they did sprinkled cheese all over the cake. and it turned a little less unpleasing.. well it still looked disgusting. anyone with working eyes would never eat such thing so tecchou was lucky that jouno's blind.

"well i guess thats all! i should get back to the agency now, see you, tecchou-san, teruko-san!!!" kenji happily waves goodbye at them, and the 2 idiots waved back at the 14 year old kid.

*tecchou's pov*

the cake looks disgusting but it shouldnt bother jouno right..? he's blind anyway.........
anyway, now im searching for him. where tf is this man istg..

oh there he is.

"jouno." i called his name.
"tf you want tecchou?" he asks me.
"follow me" i instructed him.
"no shut up and shart your pants im tired" he replied.
"follow me." i repeated.
"i said no. go put on diapers you stink. i litterally smell cow shit on you." jouno insults me.
"jouno please." i beg.
"oh my shidding heavens, fine!" he finally agrees
a big smile grew on my face and i walks over to the "suprise" room
he follows me and i could see his face... disgust? his jaw is not connecting with his skull wtf
"tecchou is there a fucking cow inside this room" he asks.
"no, why would you think that?" i replied blankly.
"theres a BIG scent of cow... or cow milk.. in here." he stated.
"figure it out. its a food." i responded with a smile.
"cheese cake?" oh. i was wanting him to say something incorrect but alright..
"yes." i smile.
"i am NOT eating that shit." he said with disgust.
"please jouno. i made them js for you."
"that just makes it worse. what did you put? mayonaise?!" he asks. well... luckily teruko didnt let me to actually put mayonaise..
"ouchie ouchie.. im so hurt right now, saigiku!" i react dramatically. obviously, this isnt like me. teruko taught me how to act like i actually 'have emotions'.
"thats funny coming from you."
"please just take atleast one bite.." i beg.
"no." he responds coldly.
have to say, im actually a little dissapointed.
he mustve noticed that.
"ugh fine! just calm your heartbeat to the usual one! i dont like hearing your sad hearbeats." he yells. i smile.

he took a bite, and almost immediately throws up. is it rlly that bad??
he finished that one bite and said,
"its disgusting."
im so sad rn.
and im guessing he noticed it again cause he immediately said,
"stop being sad. we will just buy a cheese cake ok? i happen to have a good amount of money. so lets go." he tries to cheer me up. it was actually pretty sweet of him. well, i just replied with a nod.
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"so, tecchou, tell me. how many amount of cow milk did u put to that cake?" he asks
"20 kilogr-" my words interrupted by his shout.
"WHAT." his jaw dropped.
was kenji's instructions incorrect?

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(i almost forgot abt this ff sorry yall )