If This Feelin' Flows Both Ways | ShubIsh

VI

Shubman is dreaming again. The dream was about Ishan and him on the beach, sitting by waves as they held hands, as he held Ishan's hand.

It felt so real and so warm.

No words were passed between them. It was simply them together and happy, away from the prying eyes of the world.

Then to his disappointment, the dream suddenly shifts into something else and the orange shade of the sky turns into something more gray and dark.

He and Ishan are on a cliff with Ishan standing dangerously close to the edge. He feels a painful knot twist in his guts.

He opens his mouth to warn Ishan to move back immediately and come back to him, but nothing comes out of his throat.

Ishan's eyes just stare into his blankly, something cold and terrifying in them.

"Shubman." He starts in a flat tone. "Why did you kiss me back there?" He asks him pointedly, and Shubman tries to reply but only a strangled noise comes out of his mouth.

"Do you have any idea how disgusting it felt? I was just kidding." He continues. "Did you think I would be with you out of everyone simply because I cracked that stupid joke? You love Sara. And I don't love you. You forced me."

Every single word that comes out of Ishan's mouth pierces right through his heart like a knife. But he knows it's all true.

Maybe the real Ishan wouldn't say it out loud, ever. But Shubman knew that's what he probably felt.

He feels like crying and just running away from everything, but his legs don't move. He remains frozen in place.

"You make me want to kill myself. You think I didn't notice how you ignored me all those days? You don't think I could see right through your disgusting lies?" Ishan spits.

No, this was a dream.

He had to wake up.

"Ishan, I wasn't–" His voice cracks and a sob escapes his lips.

"You don't love me, Shubman. I'd rather choose death over you." Ishan falls right off the cliff, as if accepting death.

Before Shubman can scream no- Ishan is falling into the water below him. And this time, Shubman runs, he runs to the edge and jumps off, trying to do anything to get to Ishan.

To save him.

Everything is then blue and cold. He looks down to see Ishan sinking deeper and deeper into the void darkness, his eyes holding no emotion other than hurt and disgust.

Shubman feels like he could puke. Wake up, wake up, wake up damnit! He tells himself. He had to get away. He couldn't do this.

He opens his eyes with a gasp and immediately looks over to the other bed trying to find Ishan.

He almost panics when he finds the bed empty but realizes there's another body's warmth beside him and his shirt is wet, again. But there was no pain accompanied with it this time.

Which meant Ishan was either drooling over him or crying and judging by the way he could feel the other trembling slightly, it most definitely meant he was crying.

Panicked, he looks over to Ishan who had managed to climb into this bed sensing his absence somewhere in the night. Shubman was thankful for it.

He looked down to where Ishan was crying softly into his chest. He runs his fingers through Ishan's hair, so that was possibly what triggered the nightmare, and why he felt so cold.