Renata Glasc x male reader femdom

Chapter Twelve - Rejection

"I-"

I had been silent this whole time and so when I finally opened my mouth the words seemed to be stuck in my throat. I simply stood there, mouth agape, like a  fish. She was smiling softly, but her eyes looked conflicted, when I looked into them, I saw a storm. I wanted to look closer, I wanted to see what she was thinking but she uncrossed her arms and leaned off the doorframe, moving her face and ruining my focus.

"goodnight Y/N,"

her voice was low and I felt all my previous self-doubts starting to come back, she didn't sound displeased but her voice lent itself a subdued cadence. Slowly she walked back into her room and closed the door behind her. My mind started to run amok, I wished I could still hear the hustle and bustle of the city because my thoughts seemed to be so loud in my mind. I had so many questions, I knew that if she wanted to fire me, I'd be gone already but still I felt so insecure.

I couldn't sleep, I tossed and turned on the couch till I could see daylight peeking above the city skyline. morning light filtered through the large glass windows and covered me in its warm glow. it was pleasant, and For a moment I forgot what had transpired the night before, then as I heard something stir in her room all those memories flooded my mind. I sat up on the couch and my heart started to pound again all I could do I stare at the door. from deep inside her room I heard the familiar sound of a shower starting, while I had time I thought of just running out of the building and never coming back. 

I got up off the couch and started to pace around aimlessly, though the room was well-decorated and chic, it was like it was decorated by a robot. if you told me anyone lived there I wouldn't believe you. It was clean, too clean, every single surface gleamed unnaturally. The kitchen was decorated with various copper pots and pans, none of which looked like they'd ever been used. When I looked up at one of the pans I could even see my reflection, I looked terrible, bloodshot eyes, the works. I could see the hours of sleep I missed on my face. 

"I've always been a lousy cook," 

In the reflection of the pan was Renata. She had on a dress shirt and black suit pants, a much more casual fit than yesterday, her tie hung around her neck but was untied. 

I spun around and took a double-take when I saw her, I couldn't even look her in the eyes, I turned my head away in embarrassment. Last night's wounds were still fresh, and I had prepared myself for the worst this morning.

"good morning..." I said, meekly. 

"did you sleep well? That couch is Peruvian wool, you must've slept like a baby," 

"ah..." when I looked up at her, her expression was indifferent, it was like last night didn't even happen. 

"Jesus you look like shit,"

"I-'m sorry-" 

her eyebrow furrows at my response "-Don't apologize..."

an awkward silence hung in the room, I wanted to crawl into one of the shining kitchen cupboards and disappear. 

"...listen... about last night, it's not anything you did, but I have a job, I'm not like those other... criminals, I don't shit where I work, that's why I'm the best in the business..." 

I felt my heartbeat regulating itself a bit, somehow I felt reassured by her words 

"... it's not like I hated it either," 

then my heart skipped a beat 

"-But I've always had the rule, even my underlings are forbidden from dating each other," 

I was disappointed sure, I felt my heart sink into my stomach, but her soft rejection was miles better than anything my mind had cooked up. 

"...may I ask why?"