When We Write the Stars

Chapter 30: Hayden

 "It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you." – The Fault in Our Stars

     I stood there in complete and utter disbelief. It was as if I couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't think. I should go after her, a massive part of me wanted to go after her. I could plead my case, convince her to do distance, to do something other than break up. But I didn't.

     As much as I hated it, Cassie was right. We couldn't do this. I was beyond excited to be flying out to Toronto tomorrow, the fact that I'd be playing an actual NHL game within the next week was insane. It was like every dream I'd ever had was coming true, well not every dream. It probably made me a terrible boyfriend that I'd completely forgotten about her when I'd gotten that call. I hadn't even hesitated to say yes, finishing out school to spend more time with her hadn't even crossed my mind. I just wanted to play and maybe that was a good thing.

     I loved her. More than I should, but that would go away over time. It had to. Hockey had been my first love and it would be my last, it was now really all I had. I had no idea how to feel or what to feel, I'd just broken up with a girl I'd been madly in love with, but my biggest dream was also coming true. In a way, the two extremes were cancelling each other out and I just felt numb to it all.

     I went back to my room and got back to packing. I wasn't sure when or even if I'd ever be back here, so I packed up everything I could think of. Toronto was a ways away and until we played a game against Seattle I probably wouldn't be back, and Seaport was a few hours north of Seattle. So I probably wouldn't be back, not really.

     "Holy Shit dude," Gibbs' voice breaks up my train of thought as I'm emptying the last drawer of my dresser.

     I turn to face him, and don't have to fake a smile as I say, "I got the call. I fly out to Toronto tomorrow."

     "Holy Shit congratulations man," Gibbs shouts, pulling me in for a hug.

     Hearing the shouting from Gibbs, Coleman walks out of his room, "What are we congratulating?"

     "You're looking at an NHL player," I say proudly. The excitement and life come back to me as I tell my boys.

     "Damn man, you really had to beat us to it," he says smiling, "When do you leave?"

     "First thing tomorrow," I say, the excitement leaving my voice.

     "Wow, that's..."

     "Soon," I fill in sheepishly.

     "How's Cassie taking it," Gibbs asks.

     I look away from them and towards the ground. I don't say anything, but they know. They get it.

     "I'm sorry man," Gibbs says, "At least it's the best possible reason for a breakup."

     I shrug, "Yeah, that's true."

     "I bet Canadian chicks are hot," Coleman offers, then looks slightly embarrassed as Gibbs punches him in the shoulder for saying that.

     "Do you need help packing anything," Gibbs asks breaking the awkward silence that formed after Coleman's comment.

     "I think I've pretty much got it all, depending on how things go, my sisters might come up and pack the rest if I'm still in Toronto when the lease expires.

     "Does that mean this is it," Coleman asks, looking somewhat sad, "Our last night together?"

     I take a deep breath, "Yeah I guess so."