No More Tomorrows

Chapter 18: Holding Tight

"His name is Aidan. He was the bouncer working on the door when I got to the Club looking for you. He took care of me that night and when I decided to perform to get the cash I need to move out he offered to take your spot on that seat. I'm guessing you remembered the song and most of the choreography from college."

I could see he didn't like that. Didn't like the idea of any other man in his spot. Well too freaking bad!

"And the hoodie belongs to him. He gave it to me to keep me warm after we left the Club. I couldn't face packing any of your clothes after seeing you fondling a stripper in front of me and I realised I don't actually own any hoodies of my own. Only yours."

I felt myself frown yet again at the thought that I spent so little money on myself these last few years while supporting Grant, that I didn't even own a cute hoodie. Only his hand me downs. 

"I bet he fucking loved playing hero that night. Fucking Bastard. Taking advantage of an innocent like you and you let him!"

I wasn't sure why he thought he had a right to be angry but I wasn't having it. For once I was definitely going to rock the boat.

"I'm warning you right now don't you dare say anything negative about him or I'll walk out that front door! On the second worst night of my life, second only to when I found that my mum had overdosed, he took care of me. Him. Not you." I saw him cringe when I said that. "He made sure I was safe while in the Club, got me safely to the apartment I've been staying in and even went so far as to order me groceries so I would be able to eat, so don't you dare..."

"Jesus Emily of course he did. You're so naive. He wants to get in your fucking pants. You were rubbing all over him on stage in front of a room full of my colleagues. I have to work with those men and now they've seen you half naked. How the fuck is it going to look when you come to a Christmas party and they recognise you?"

Was this guy serious right now? He was worried about what his Finance Bros would think of his girlfriend stripping when they spent multiple nights a week watching women do the same thing, and far worse. He was delusional. 

"I don't actually care what you or your colleagues thought about me stripping. I had my own reason for doing it and I don't regret it. On a night where you made me feel worthless, where you made me question why I wasn't good enough I had hundreds of men throwing money at me. Shouting how beautiful I was, how sexy I was. Other men Grant, not you! I made over $3,700 in two minutes and that money means I now have a way to move out without having to add money worries to my list of problems."

At the mention of me moving out his face blanched of all colour.

"You're not moving out! We have our whole life planned out! You love me too much for you to throw away seven years together over one night. Where will you go? You don't have anyone but me and don't even own any furniture. Stop making this into more than it is. I know I messed up, but so did you by getting on that stage. I feel sick thinking of all the men who've now seen your body. You're here telling me how good it made you feel and that makes me feel sick! The Emily I know wouldn't want other men looking at her and telling her she's sexy!"

I stared at him now. This man I'd loved for so long, and realised at no point in his panicked reaction to me leaving did he apologise or beg for my forgiveness. He just reminded me that I only had him. If I left I'd have no one. That he was disappointed in me! The audacity of this man.

 The thing he didn't realise was that after a week alone with my thoughts I was okay having no one. I'd survive. 

"You know you haven't even apologised. You haven't told me one true thing since I walked through that door and yet you say I can't leave you. That's not how it works Grant."