Loving A Tsundere

Chapter 2. Failures

Third person POV:

"Teru....teru......" inside his cottage, Osaka, sat on his bed with his hands glued to his head. His mind physically racing with the thoughts of his classmates dying right before his eyes making themselves at home within his memories. Every second was another horrible memory, another failure, he had put up a cool act in the trial earlier but that fell apart once he was alone. His eyes had gone red from crying, lips chapped and cracked from constantly biting them along with the dryness of his mouth. Every passing second made it clear that he wasn't able to keep the promise he made to everyone.

"Shi.....sh....SHIT!" He slammed his fist into the wall not even leaving a dent. He wasn't physically built like most of the others, he was frail and skinny. Not at all athletic. He looked at his hands at this moment, he couldn't help but stare at the knife he had taken from the crime scene in the corner of his room at the same time. Despair, clouded Osaka's mind as he slowly shuffled towards the knife and before he knew it, it was right in his hands.

"I...don't deserve to live after I failed them....not anymore" his voice quivered with every word that passed through his mouth.

He held the knife outwards, preparing to take his own life before-

BAM, SLAM! GRAB!

Someone had barged into his room and pinned him down knocking the knife out of his hand in the process.

"OOF!" Grunted Osaka before locking eyes with the perpetrator.

"N-Nekomaru?!" He was shocked to see Nekomaru restraining him but he winced in pain realizing he had still managed to cut himself on his side within the time of him getting pinned down.

"Why...." Osaka gritted his teeth

"Osaka...." Nekomaru said softly before Osaka glared out him with more tears pouring out of his red eyes

"WHY!? WHY!? WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DIE!? WHY WASN'T I ABLE TO STOP THEM!? WHY COULDN'T I HAVE TALKED THEM OUT OF IT!? WHY NEKOMARU!?" The broken down Osaka belted out as he was still restrained by Nekomaru who looked at the formerly level headed boy with a look of sympathy. He hugged him tightly as he continued to vent "I wouldn't even have been able to stop it! I'm so damn weak I can barely dent a wall! GOD DAMN IT, WHY NEKOMARU!? WHY!?"

Osaka POV:

It had been...what..3 hours since I attempted to take my life and I was still being held by Nekomaru. I think...I calmed down by now...but he wouldn't let go. I guess that's fine, I might try it again.

"Just breathe bud." Nekomaru whispered as I felt his hold get tighter, he looked down at me. I don't know what he was thinking. But...there was something on my mind.

"Why...did you come?" I questioned through my now raspy voice.

"The others had gone to bed, and I wanted to make sure you were doing ok after..." he went quiet.

"Oh...god...don't." He let go of me and brought over a trash can, to which I threw up in, leaving my head hanging over it for a while before looking at Nekomaru again.

"Sorry...probably should-"

"No it's fine....i just..." I stopped talking and turned my gaze towards the knife

"What was I thinking..." I mumbled to myself but it seemed Nekomaru heard

"It's not unnatural for someone to...feel like that. Especially after THAT." He said consoling me "But, Osaka! MAN UP!"