Color Crew Smut (Now On Wattpad!!!)

breakfast

So. That TommyInnit cooking show video sure is a thing that exists.

I love Ted and Schlatt, I'm a big Chuckle Sandwich enjoyer, and I think I did a fairly good job at capturing their characters, but they're still unfamiliar to write. Just ignore any "he would not fucking say that" moments

Title from Breakfast by Dove Cameron. This fic isn't set during breakfast time but the song fits very well and the title is objectively funny.

Pairing: Boosfer/Jschlatt, implied Boosfer/Ted Nivison

Tags: Kind of a Mafia AU, Forced Prostitution, Rape/Non-con Elements, (Implied?) Vampires, Mild Blood Kink, Blood Drinking, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex (the tags are really bad because the setting is really bad, the fic itself isn't)

Words: 4603

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The car pulls into the parking lot of an unsuspecting diner with a name Boosfer has never heard of. Probably a front for something illegal anyway.

He gets out of the car when Ted does and follows him. They're out in the open, he's not restricted in any way, but it'd be useless to run: He'd be chased and caught and punished, and while he's done it before - at first in a genuine attempt to get away, then for the thrill -, his week has been bad enough already. This will be the last meeting before the day off Ted has promised him and he can't wait for it.

On their way to the entrance they cross a guy who has set up a whole wall of signs full of tacky, badly photoshopped images and slogans of "save the animals" and "go vegan now".

The guy jumps up excitedly when they walk past. "Hello! Good evening! Sir! Have you ever considered going vegan?"

"I don't think that would be a good idea for my health." Ted laughs even though the man won't understand the joke. Boosfer grins along, because he does get it, and uses the momentary confusion of the activist to slip past him into the diner.

Ted picks a table by the window and lets Boosfer scoot up the slightly sticky booth first before he follows, trapping Boosfer. He won't run (not today at least), but Ted still likes to make sure.

The diner is nearly empty so the waitress comes to their table immediately. "Good evening, what can I get for you?"

Ted turns to Boosfer. "You want anything?"

Surprised, Boosfer looks down on the menu that he so far ignored. He doesn't usually get to choose his own food, his diet is arranged to keep him as healthy as possible and to combat the frequent blood loss.

Maybe he's supposed to say he doesn't want anything, but he does. "Number eight, please. The chicken sandwich."

Ted smiles at him. Maybe he was supposed to want something.

The waitress notes his order, then looks to Ted. "For you, sir?"

"Nothing, thank you, dear." He smiles pleasantly. "Would you tell Schlatt his old friend Ted is here?"

The waitress gives Ted a once-over. Her eyes jump to Boosfer and he gives her a fake smile. It's the best he can offer. If she's smart, she won't ask questions.

"Of course," she says eventually, "That'll be a few minutes."

She leaves. Boosfer looks out the window. There is a horse, and the aggressively vegan guy from before is arguing with the man leading the horse. It's a bizarre scene and Boosfer is almost relieved when the waitress comes back and distracts him.

"Mr. Schlatt would like to meet you in his office?"

The tilt in her voice makes it sound like a question. She's obviously confused; Boosfer can't blame her.