𝐁𝐮𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 - On Hiatus

12. 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐡

I always thought if I'd been allowed to change my whole wardrobe, I wouldn't waste a second. Of course, it's easier to dream about something this outlandish than it was to actually do it. There were so many things swarming through my head; where to shop, what to wear, how much I wanted to spend. I didn't know where to start.

I didn't even have the capacity to figure out a budget that made sense for half a million dollars. How much of it could I spend on clothes? How long would it last me and when would it need to last me to? The one thing I couldn't stop seeing in my head was that big ass number ticking down to zero.

For as long as I could remember I'd had a handful of shirts, 3-4 pairs of pants, and maybe a pair of slacks. It was sad to admit, I wouldn't even know how to dress with so many options.

So when I stepped into Lenox Mall, I froze up.

It was packed; people bustling in and out of stores, up and down escalators, pushing past me hastily. I had only come here a handful of times when Michelle wanted to celebrate something. It was where all the ballers and gold diggers hung out. All the designer stores and upscale shops took space in this mall; all the things I could never afford. Now that I could, the options felt overwhelming.

Quickly shuffling to the nearest directory, I searched the map for a store I'd feel comfortable in. When I found the Nike Outlet something in me lit up. I mindlessly looked down on my old, creased, Air Forces. Without another thought, I shot straight for it.

It was honestly breathtaking, not like any Nike I'd been to before. Walls lined with various sneakers from various collections and various colors. The dimly lit store with black walls gave a feeling of warmth and awe. There was no way I'd leave this store empty handed.

"Hey man, you need some help," a tall dude with locs asked walking over. He had a weird look on his face like he was trying to read me. "You looking for some new forces?"

"Yeah man," I said with a chuckle, not even offended. Anybody with eyes could tell I needed an upgrade.

Nodding his head, he waved me over heading to the Forces. "I got you, come on. What's your budget today?"

"Man, honestly it ain't no budget. I just need to get my shoe game right," I explained feeling at ease. He had on a pair of SB dunks, one of the special collabs. Looked like he knew what he was doing.

"You only getting one pair today?" he questioned starting to study my feet before looking up at the wall. "I see you got the high tops on, but the lows might be better for you."

I nodded in agreement. "I had these since high school, and honestly I want to get a few pairs. Maybe some Jordan's, dunks. I really ain't got no other sneakers, and these been done."

"Oh, okay you balling out. No budget?"

"No budget," I confirmed.

He smiled, dapping me up before speaking, "Let me get you straight then brotha'."

After trying on some Forces, and figuring out what size fits me best he started suggesting different shoes and styles to me. When we debated on a few that I liked, I realized didn't have many clothes to match. That's how we progressed to searching through jackets, shirts, sweatsuits, socks, laces.

Before I knew it I'd racked up a pretty $2,500 bill. He had a look of satisfaction as he rang me up as if he'd genuinely enjoyed assisting and styling me. His coworkers on the other hand gave me a suspicious side-eye. I was very familiar with the look they were giving me; it was like I was a joke or a waste of time.

They'd dismissed me the moment I walked into the door. The whole time I was shopping, customers and workers alike watched carefully. They shot the guy helping me all kinds of dirty looks and grunts of disapproval. As they all watched on, waiting to laugh, I swiped my debit card. They wouldn't make a joke of me today.

When the receipt started printing, they all raised their eyebrows in surprise. Before I could look at them directly, they hastily went to focus on other tasks. Some looked shocked, others seemed embarrassed. The guy helping me was the only one who didn't seemed surprised that I could pay.

"Hey, thanks for all your help man," I said as he stuffed three or four large bags with my things.

"It's nothing, I really love this, Forreal. Getting to really get into it and go through all these shoes was definitely the highlight of my day."

"You got a cashapp? I know y'all don't do tips here, but I really appreciate your help."

"It's really nothing. Helping you was as cool for me as it was for you," he said reaching over the counter and shaking hands with me.

After he put my receipt in a bag, he handed me everything.

"I hope you don't take no offense but if you wanted to change your shoes and toss them you got on, I'll go ahead and put them in the dumpster out back for you," he said nodding at the shoes on my feet.

When my eyes fell to them, I instantly obliged. I shimmied out of my busted forces and swapped them out with my new pair. Handing him the box with my old shoes felt like a fairytale moment; like rags turning into a ball gown.

He tapped one of my bags and didn't even have to say anything; I'd had the same thought. Taking out one of my new windbreakers, I pulled it on over my head covering my stained T-Shirt.

"Fresh as hell," he said nodding with approval.

In that moment, it felt like I was finally a part of something I'd been denied my whole life. I felt in control.