Lily

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I lie in bed staring at the ceiling. I want to know what time it is but I'm too lazy to reach for my phone. It's probably around 4 or 5 in the morning. Pretty soon I'll have to get out of bed, shower, get dressed, and go to my first class. I miss being 9. I remember I had a doctor kit that I was obsessed with, and a decade later I am complaining about becoming a real doctor. I smile, remembering how I checked my entire family's heartbeat with my plastic stethoscope. It's not pretend anymore, this is real.

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I dry my hair off and throw it into another messy bun like I've been doing all week. My mom would lecture me if she knew I didn't care for my curls like she did then. Every Saturday, she would apply a new concoction to the roots of my hair and massage my scalp. She stressed more over my hair than I did. I love her for that. I loved her for that. I throw on a random hoodie with my university's logo on the front and slide into my gray sweats. I tramp to the kitchen and make my favorite breakfast. I toast my bread and slice avocado, just like my mother had taught me. I taught Jacob how to make avocado toast too, it's his favorite too. I guess I might have ruined it for him, now that we're not together anymore. I don't care though, he deserves it. He deserves every single punishment existent and more.

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