Please Don't Save Me [Bakudeku]

What is this feeling?

Izuku POV:(Chapter 7)
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!!TW!!
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Mentions of attempted suicide
Mentions of self hate
Mentions of self harm
Swearing
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I sit in silence, laying in the white sheets which covered my hands, my mind was running with my thoughts and feelings yet I somehow still felt empty.

The clock ticked on the wall, a repetitive pattern that seemed to follow my senses, normally it would annoy me but now...I just didn't feel anything.

The distant chatter in the halls and laughter from outside made me wonder something, something I have never felt..love..before

What..did it feel like..to be loved?

I can't remember anything back to the first memory where someone expressed fondness for me and didn't just reject everything I gave for them.

My mind wondered on and on about the feeling of worthiness and love and what it feels like, yet my thoughts come to a halt as I hear the door open to my hospital room.

People rush into the room and the next thing I know is that I'm covered in hugs and comfort and questions and words and actions and more.

It made me feel things but I don't know what, I brush it off and look at who has entered the room, to my non-suprise it was a small squad of people from my  class.

My eyes glance towards a figure on my left which I recognised too well, my classmate, Mina Ashido.

"It's not just us if your wondering" She says, barely above a whisper, almost like in a soothing way to make sure I was okay.

From the state of her uniform, hair and face, it had been obvious she had been crying, did I make her cry?

Was it my fault she was like this?

Did this happen with everyone..?

I didn't want them to pity over me, I wanted them to be happy and relieved that- that I was finally gone from their lives.

A-And so I wouldn't bother them anymore...

I get interrupted yet again from my thoughts as I hear her speak again..

"The rest are in the waiting room because they wouldn't let us all come in at once so they just let us five come since we saw you first" She says, a quaver in her voice like she was about to burst into tears, run out the room and shoot herself in the brain.

Looking around the room at the others who were with me, and from Ashido words, the people who found me, were, unsurprisingly very familiar faces.

Two people were to my left, one crouching near my knee looking at me with an immediately recognizable face, one of my best friends when first joining UA, her name is Ochako Uraraka.

Then I feel a small tap on my arm and turn my head slightly more towards my left side to see our class clowns best friend/partner in crime, aswell as my childhood best frie- used to be best friend's NOW best friend, also known as Ejiro Kirishima.

I take a glance to my right and look a bit shocked and feel a pang of guilt in my heart but ignore it as I look at the next two people, one sitting on a chair, supposably asleep was the person who helped me- everyone improve in my class, the one who stands out to others due to unusual habits, my sensei...

Shota Aizawa..

Then kneeling down, holding onto my hand, but so lightly I hadn't even noticed before, was my childh- was my old friend, kacchan also known..as Katsuki Bakugo.

"D-Deku-kun..w-we were s-so worried.." I heard a chirpy voice pipe up, mumbling against her fist, which was balled infront of her mouth as to hide her, assumed to be, sorrow ridden face.