Dawn's Diary: Love & Life

To Grow is To Say Goodbye

To be young is to cry for your mother
As she struggles to function from lack of sleep
To be young is to make you dada proud
Say his name, as they both record you for themselves to keep
To be young is to take your first steps
Tears of joy,
An achievement, a feat

To be young is to run down the corridor,
down to the void deck,
straight to the playground,
5pm
as promised
To be young is to slide down,
bang,
enemy down,
gun ready, polished
To rebel is to be scolded,
sundown,
but you're not home,
Mother is pissed as she comes down
you're finished

To be young is to be scared,
new place, new home,
but you're stuck in uniform,
like all kids,
but you dont know who they are
To be young is to cry for your mother,
flushed down your rosy cheeks,
as she says its okay,
she'll be back soon,
or that's what they always say
To be young is to see big kids, pointing
laughing at the moving statues,
they wave when they see you, hoping not to scare

To be hardworking is to finish your exam,
pens down,
eyes up,
no cheating,
perfect marks, and never studying
To be young is to panic,
you hear the different answers,
none the same as yours,
forced to accept you've lost it,
but doesn't mean you've lost it all
Yet you cry in your room, panicked
unsure if you're as good as before,
the first signs of growing up,
already not liking it at all

To grow is to realise,
how different you were raised,
there's a part of your life missing,
and it just doesn't feel the same
To grow is to fall,
fall deep into a state,
a state of hurt and illness,
something that was never expected
to be your fate
To grow is to overwork,
to pretend,
to be happy again,
but now you're just tired,
but the smiles on their faces makes you joyful again
But it's all temporary,
and you're no longer you
so who is this new body
with bigger chests and bigger blues?

To grow is to say goodbye,
goodbye to that small kid
that you once were
they will never come back to you
growing up has no cure
To grow is to watch the old grow older,
too old for their good,
your mother cries for you
as you struggle to function from lack of sleep
your father says your name,
like it was the first time in his entire life,
an achievement, a feat

To grow is to say goodbye,
as they all walk down the corridor,
down the void deck,
across the playground,
another body,
another soul,
another day to cry alone,
To grow is to say goodbye,
goodbye to being young,
knowing you're next,
but you've made it a pretty sweet life,
now you hope
for a bittersweet death.