WizardBrave oneshots (mostly fluff)

Regret (ANGST)

Tw: Suicide, mentions of death.

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Wizard sat on the bed in absolute dismay, silently staring into blank space. Here he had been sitting for many hours, his guilt slowly eating him up inside, making him feel hollow, like an empty corpse.

"That's what I deserve to be right now..." He thought to himself. "I would probably feel better if I were." And it was true. He had a horrible ache in his chest, and it hurt. It hurt more than anything he had ever felt. It was unbearable.

He felt like sobbing again, but crying didn't relive him, nothing could. He just sat there, staring at the floor as his thoughts swirled around in his head, mostly about him.

"Strawberry forgives me..." he murmured, trying to provide himself some comfort, but the words were empty. "How did she even do it..." his voice quivered, tears threatening to bead his eyes again. "I could never forgive myself..." He couldn't say it, it would make him cry. Although, crying was inevitable. No matter how many times he cried, no matter how long he cried, no matter how many tears came out, they always came back to flow down his face yet again.

He hugged himself harder, his nails clawing into his arms, leaving red marks. He didn't care. The pain was nothing compared to what he was feeling. Hell, he would chop his arms off if only he could undo what he had done... But he knew he wasn't coming back. "Even if he did, he would hate me. He would see me as a monster..." Wizard fought back tears. He would give everything just to bring him back, even if they never talked again. Even if he hated his guts.

At least he would be alive.

"I'm so sorry, GingerBrave.... I'm so... so.. sorry..." Wizard whimpered, tears welling up in his eyes as the pain in his chest tightened. "I'm so stupid... thinking I could control that cursed flame..." He whispered quietly as he started to shake, tears slowly running down his cheeks.

He remembered everything. Every last detail.
But mostly, he remembered the begging.

The begging for mercy.

The begging for him to stop.

The begging for him to turn back.

Wizard couldn't stop these thoughts from repeating over and over and over again....

The screams as GingerBrave slowly burned to death in the blue flames.

He wanted desperately to forget...

The pain in his voice, the heartbreak.

But he couldn't stop them...

The sounds of the cracks of GingerBraves soulstone as Azure destroyed it.

The memory was burned into his brain...

The feeling of gaining control five minutes too late.

He would never live it down....

The feeling of overwhelming guilt as he realized it wasn't all a horrid nightmare.

Wizard was crying yet again.

"I killed him... I killed him... I killed him..." It was true, he had. He knew the risks of claiming that staff, he knew this could happen. "I didn't think it would..." But he was wrong. "And now he's dead. All thanks to me..."

He had killed his most tresured cookie, the one he had held closest to him. The one that had captured his heart. His forever friend, his lover.

"I love you, Wizard! I trust you with my life. I love you so much, you wouldn't understand how much so much is! Promise we'll be together forever? Please?!" He could remember his voice clearly. He could remember his giggles that day as he asked the question. It was hard to believe that was only two weeks ago.

"I will never hear that laugh again..." His heart broke all over again, although it already had more times than he could count.

He would never be able to hear GingerBraves voice again. "Every sound he made was like music to my ears..." He would never be able to feel him again. "Every touch was like being healed when wounded..." He would never see him again. "Just looking at him smile made me happy..." He felt like throwing up.

He would never recover.

GingerBrave had trusted him, admired him, and loved him with his soul. "A-and all I did... was..." crush it." He couldn't bring himself to say it. He couldn't bear the guilt of being the one responsible for the death of a hero. Especially a hero he loved dearly. A hero who loved him.

Wizard looked up, his vision blurred through tears. All he could make out was the silhouette of the window facing out into the bright night sky. It was a beautiful clear night, all the stars were shining and visible. Not that Wizard would know, he was too busy marinating in sorrow. Drowning in it.

"I can't... TAKE THIS ANYMORE..." He ran to the window and threw it open. He looked out into the night, breathing the cool air as the breeze ran its cold currents through his hair.

On any normal day this would comfort him, bring him down to earth.

But this wasn't a normal day.

He took a deep breath, seeking for any kind of comfort or relief, but nothing came. His heart still felt twisted into un-fixable knots. The tears still ran down his guilt ridded face. He still felt empty, yet full. Full of regret. Full of guilt.

"Ginger...B-Brave... I... I love you... I'm... I'm s-so... so... sorry..." he murmured, choking on his tears. Of course, no one answered besides the night owls and the ruffling of the trees. What was he expecting anyways? Forgiveness? "Too late for that... even if everyone on earthbread forgives me, I'll never forgive myself..." He moved to sit on the edge of his windowsill, his sobs slowing down. Not because he felt better, but because he was running out of tears again.

"Why can't I trade places with you...." Wizard muttered, hugging himself. "I can't... live like this, GingerBrave. I can't live with knowing your blood is on my hands." He whispered.

Wizard gazed down at the long fall, his heart pounding out of his chest. His eyes widened slightly as his breathing got more rapid. "I'm not going to live like this..." He said harshly, getting up and standing confidently on the edge. He summoned his wand and removed the slow falling shield around the tower. He took a deep breath before yelling and chucking his wand as hard as he could and watching as it cracked in two on the ground and crackled.

Just then he realized how crazy this all was.

He hesitated throwing himself off.

Wizard just stood there staring down at the now unsafe hight. At his broken wand. He looked down at his hands. "Am I going crazy...?" He asked himself. He slowly looked up and chuckled slightly. "I deserve to go crazy." He murmured and tensed up. "And I deserve all the pain I'm about to experience."

Without looking back or even re-thinking his decision or life's work, he shut his eyes, crossed his arms, and let himself go.

Falling...

Falling....

Falling....

Like a nightmare. Though, a nightmare he would never wake up from. A nightmare where he hits the ground. A nightmare where he feels the pain.

He didn't scream, and just let the sensation of falling take over, before hitting the ground with a deafening crack.

His last thought was of GingerBrave, he couldn't even make out what was happening, but it was a nice last memory to visit.

Wizard could feel himself loosing life, his heart
missing every other beat. The pain welled throughout his entire body. He wanted to scream to let it all out, but couldn't. He let out a low groan before everything went black. Life slipped through his fingers like a broken sand timer.
A timer that should've gone on much longer.

This was his decision. This wasn't his fate.

His body limp, his mind blank, he was free.
Free from the guilt and pain.

So, in his last moments a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips, with the hopes of possibly reuniting with his lover once more.

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