"Gather around, ladies and gents," Regulus practically sings. "For today, you'll taste the greatest chocolate in your life."
An old woman passing by points her cane at him accusingly. "You're a nutter to claim such a thing!"
"Ma'am, you'll find that men like me can make anything happen. I could whip you up a life-sized candy-cane."
"You're insane!" Calls another man who works in a boxy fruit stand.
"They do say brilliance stems from insanity sometimes." Regulus allows himself a cruel smirk, hidden by his hand. "Try some, won't you?"
The old woman, still standing there and squinting over her eyeglasses, huffs. "Unless it could make me fly, I harbour no need to taste your chocolate!"
That's when Regulus grins. "Well, you're in luck, ma'am." He produces a jar filled with colourful, winged, egg-shaped chocolates from his magic bag.
"Like Mary Poppins," a little girl gasps, watching him more curiously than the rest.
"Take one," Regulus encourages her, smiling neutrally.
The girl is hesitant, but decidedly takes a piece and pops it into her mouth, surprisingly graceful. Her eyes light up. "This is... spectacular!"
It is her shout that attracts onlookers and passer-by, who now wonder what is going on. The old woman studies this scene along with the grumpy fruit seller.
"You'll start to float soon, so don't be scared when you do," Regulus tells her, softening his voice.
The girl's smile widens. Regulus looks down to see that her feet have lifted off the ground.
"That was quick," he observes. The girl laughs joyously as she continues to float higher and higher.
"I'm flying!" She shrieks, but her smile is still huge across her face. "Mama, look! I'm floating away like a big balloon!"
"What a mesmerising sight," Regulus compliments. "You have a very graceful ascent."
The girl giggles, even as her mother stares at her in shock, her laughter bouncing off the building walls and drawing in awe-struck gazes from everyone who freezes there to watch the phenomenon. "Thank you so much, sir! Just how will I get down?"
"A burp or a toot will do," Regulus reveals with a pleased smile. "But until then, float for as long as you'd like."
As one could imagine, after that, it wasn't hard to attract more customers.
•••🍫•••
Regulus shelters in a shed by the laundromat with Kreacher and Charlie Tin in the meantime. He flips through thick books, keeps himself updated with smuggled Daily Prophets, and makes magical chocolates.
"What do you think is the next Horcrux?" Charlie asks, halfway done painting Kreacher's sullen face orange.
"I have a few guesses. See, I used Basilisk Venom to destroy the Slytherin locket. If I look into objects with the same kind of stakes and importance, well, something of Helga Hufflepuff's or Rowena Ravenclaw's would make sense." Regulus frowns. "The problem is, I have no idea how many Horcruxes that ugly slithery shit of a murderer has made, or if he plans to make more..."
"I'll help you," Charlie says, puffing out his chest in faux bravery. "When the time comes, I'll help you defeat Voldemort."
Regulus's lips quirk at Charlie's confident statement. "I reckon you'd do for another stupidly bold Gryffindor, Charlie. If you ever go to Hogwarts, that is. How old are you, exactly?"
YOU ARE READING
Regulus & the Chocolate Factory | a crack story tbh |
FanfictionRegulus knows three things very well from the duration of his life: 1. There's no escaping the sun, which translates to there's no escaping James Potter. 2. That he's a successful failure of a son, would make a terrible escape artist, and should rea...
