Regulus & the Chocolate Factory | a crack story tbh |

6: A Visit from a Welsh Werewolf (oh if blood purist parents could see him now)

Regulus doesn't expect his life to suddenly be left unbothered. He expects someone to show up at his door, whether it be Dorcas again, McKinnon, or even his godforsaken brother.

So when Remus Lupin ends up knocking on the shed door in the early hours of a Sunday morning, Regulus opens it expecting anything but Sirius's boyfriend standing there with a bar of chocolate casually sticking out of his mouth like a cigarette. Truthfully, though, he would've been more shocked if James Potter had been on the other end.

"Lupin," Regulus addresses him with a sigh.

Lupin wrinkles his nose. "Hiya. It smells like fucking wet dogs in here."

Regulus snorts. "You smell dog too, huh?"

"Along with chocolate, books, and... hang on, are you brewing Amortentia in there?"

"Maybe." Regulus smirks. "But why are you here?"

"Courtesy of Dorcas," Lupin responds, shrugging. "I hear from her that this... 'factory' requires a few more workers."

"She's worried for nothing," Regulus tells him, huffing stubbornly.

Lupin's expression hardens. "Listen, Black, you weren't there when everyone believed you were gone. And Sirius... Sirius still loves you, even though you could hardly call yourself a brother to him."

Regulus scoffs. "Does he now? Then I wonder why his boyfriend mutt has shown up outside my door instead of Sirius himself."

"You have no right to accuse him of cowardice," Lupin says, voice almost a growl.

"That's not what I'm doing," Regulus mutters, "given that I'm just as big of a coward, if not bigger. He's the brother who got sorted into Gryffindor, after all."

Lupin narrows his eyes at Regulus. "Sometimes, I question how you two are related. But at times like this, I find myself understanding where the relation is."

"And that is?"

"You both have an infuriating, stubborn nature that drives everyone around you either away, mad, or in love with you."

Regulus manages to keep his composure, even as the word 'love' circles around his head in a loop that has his heart beating unnecessarily fast.

"Amortentia," Lupin scoffs with a dry laugh. "You said you smell dog too, didn't you? It's because of Sirius, you little shit."

Regulus's brows furrow in confusion. "How the fuck is my brother related to anything dog-scented?"

There's a twitch at the corner of Lupin's boldly curving lips. Regulus curses Sirius's ability to attract ridiculously good-looking men and shakes off the weird allure of Lupin with a step backward.

"Explain," Regulus snaps.

"No, I think I'll just stay around, help out a bit, like I came here to do." Lupin smirks.

Regulus exhales in frustration. "Fine. Take a broom and make yourself useful."

"What does flying have to do with anything?"

"It doesn't. And I thought you were the smart Marauder, Lupin. It's for sweeping."

"Sweeping? Like the Muggle chore?"

"Oh just get in and close your mouth, it's hanging open like a dead fish."

•••🍫•••

"Hi Mister Lupin!" Charlie's grin is as blindsiding as ever. "I'm Charlie Tin, nice to meet you."

"So," Lupin says after a short while of getting acquainted with a badly disguised house elf, bouncing bundle of energy, and a girl who only knows the first letter of her birth name. "Is it a Black family trait to have the ability to convert young Welsh boys into speaking posh?"