"Love you like an Alcoholic" a Johnnie guilbert x reader.

Why cant I be pretty?

A FEW DAYS AFTER THE "PARTY"...I get a text from Tara saying that the party will be tonight at 9:35. I wonder If Johnnie or Jake are going? Or maybe both? There's about 3 hours until the party. What will I do until then? I guess I can plan my outfit or something. I walk over to my closet and open the door. It takes a lot of rummaging around and by the time I find my swim suit there's clothes all over my floor. It's a black two piece with a skull on the left side of the top. I lay it neatly on my dresser for later. I sit on the end of my bed, thinking of what to do in the mean time. I decide to go down and ask Jake if he and Johnnie are going. I just sit on my bed and stare into space for a second before actually getting up and opening the door.

I walk out the door a jog down the steps. To see Jake fixing to leave. "Jake?" I yell to the front door where he's standing . "What?" He responded looking back at me, "Are you and Johnnie going to Tara's party?" I ask, "I know I am, I'm still trying to convince Johnnie." He responded. Why does Johnnie have to be so difficult? Why do I even want him to come?I roll my eyes, "Ok." I responded as he walks out the door. I think Johnnies gone too, so I can't talk to him myself. So I just set on the couch and turn on the tv. My attention span is so low, so I'm bored instantly. Maybe I'll just take a nap or something. So I do. I slumped onto the couch and turned down the tv to 15. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and set and for and 1 and 30 minutes before the party. I quickly fall asleep.

I wake up, not to my alarm but too...shoving? I shoot my eyes open and see Jake."What-what the fuck?" I mumbled rubbing my eyes. "Wake up sleepy head." He said in a southern accent. "You need to get ready." He says breaking the accent."For wha- oh the party thingy..." I mumbled. "Yeah okay, I will." I responded sitting up. Jake gives me a thumbs up as he walks up stairs to his room to get ready. I rub my eyes again and slowly get off the couch. The tv was off and the couch pillows were on the floor. I picked them up then started walking to the stairs, grabbed the railing pulling myself up. I hurry up the stairs and to my room. I open my door up slowly and sleepily, unlike the stairs. I get into my room and kick the door shut. I grab my two piece off the dresser and place it on the bed. I strip putting my clothes in the hamper. I put the bathing suit on and head to the mirror. Ugh, what a disgusting disappointment.

I pick apart my body, bit by bit with my own eyes. The slight scars on my wrists and inner thighs. The newer ones make me feel worse. My hip dips are noticeable, my shoulders are too broad, my stomach isn't flat enough, my curves aren't curved enough. My boobs aren't big enough, neither is my ass. Tears form in my eyes, I don't know if I can even go anymore. Why can't I be skinny too? Why can't pI have fast metabolism? Why can't I be pretty.? I need a bandage to cover the fresh scares, and a way to distract myself. I slowly back away from the mirror. I hate mirrors. I make my way to the door and I reluctantly open it. I hurriedly make my way to the bathroom shutting the door immediately.

I rummage through the cupboard, until I finally found some bandages. I place them on the two scars on my inner thigh. I feel slightly better. I shut the cupboard and look into the mirror. I still fucking hate mirrors. Once I get too my room I search my closest for a cover up shirt. I find and old, oversized Slipknot shirt and put it over my bathing suit. It worries me that I will have to take it off eventually. I grab some white socks from my dresser and put on my white crocs. I grabs my purse and make my way down stairs to see Jake and Johnnie ready setting on the couch, waiting for me. "Let's go." I say, "took you long enough!" Jake responded and both him and Johnnie stand up from the couch and we all head to the door.

~In the car~

Jake was driving and Johnnie was in the passenger side. I was in the back. Johnnie leaned over and looked at me, "Nice shirt." He says nodding."Thanks, nice eyeshadow." I reply. Me and Johnnie kind of had the same eyeshadow style, except mines more tame."Thanks." He says and then leans back into his chair. Wow, that was kind of random? At least he's making an effort to talk to me...? Around 15 minutes pass and we're at the house. It was pretty fancy, it had steps leading up to the entrance. It was a decent size, two stories.  We all made our way up the stairs and Jake rung the doorbell.

In about two minutes the door swings open and I'm suddenly in a tight hug. It was Tara.  She lets go and said, "Come on!" She grabs my hand and leads me into the house along with Jake and Johnnie. "If you need to change, follow me." She smiled, "Ok." I responded as she leads me upstairs. "Bathrooms on the right." She says pointing to a certain door. I nod and head that way. I hesitate reaching for the doorknob at first but still go in. I close the door behind me and look in the mirror. I had to hurry so Tara could go but I still scowl at the site of me. I take my cover shirts off, slowly but surely. I look in the mirror, disgusting. Tears slowly form but I look up, sucking them back into my eyes. I reach for the doorknob shakily. I open it to see Tara. "Ooo, I like it!" She says smiling. Really? "Oh, thanks." I said, I don't really believe her.  She goes into the bathroom and comes out pretty quickly. She had a black two piece and their was two small white bows sewn to the bottom half. "It's so cute!" I say jumping up and down, "So is yours! It suits you well!" She says smiling at me. "Thank youu!" I say excitedly. I feel an little better now. I grab her hand and we head downstairs.
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1152 WORDS?!?(HOLY SHIT WTF)
Sorry this took so long. 😔 I pulled an all-nighter to finish this it's 5:52 bro😭