Painted Hearts | Buggy the Clown Fic

- pretty lies

Niko found himself dancing in a dimly lit circus, vision hazy and unfocused. Holding onto his waist and one hand, Buggy moved in perfect unison with him. As he leaned closer, Niko swore that he could almost taste his scent, head resting on the clown's warm chest.

They slowed, and Buggy gently took his chin between his forefinger and thumb, tilting his face up to face him, "Why do you push me away, Niko? Don't you know that I only want what's best for you?"

Niko's looked up at him, a familiar feeling of raw hurt and confusion gathering in his chest, "I.. I don't-" He attempted to explain, but Buggy pressed a hand over his mouth, his pretty blue eyes wreathing with similar emotions, "I know you want it too." His voice was gentle, genuine, "Let me love you."

"It hurts." He whispered in response, helplessly staring into the pirate's eyes, "You hurt me."

"You hurt yourself by loving me."

It was barely getting light out when Niko woke up from the dream. His stomach ached with a combination of nausea from lack of food and his own emotions. The dream left a bad taste in his mouth.

Blinking a few times, he yawned slowly, breathing in the scent of Buggy, of which he found he was rapidly growing familiar with. As he woke up more, he realized with growing regret that he was laying on top of Buggy, the clown's arms wrapped securely around him, face pressed into his hair. For a moment, he didn't move. There was a certain peace about the moment, but it was broken by his own flood of conflicted emotions, and he removed himself from the position, attempting to get away without waking up Buggy.

As he pushed himself up with his arms, Buggy's arms sliding off his back, his eyes landed on the sleeping pirate. Niko had never seen him so peaceful, face relaxed, no patronizing or teasing grin creasing his face. The impulsive urge to reach out and brush his cheek rose in him, but he swallowed, sitting upright and inching away.

"Niko..?" Buggy's groggy, sleep-raspy voice made him freeze, regret only seizing him further, "Where are you going? It's still early." He hummed, wrapping his arm around Niko and pulling him back into his warm embrace. Niko didn't say anything at first, listening as Buggy murmured drowsily, voice rumbling in his chest, "It's too cold without you."

Niko's breath grew shallow, stomach churning, "It's dawn." He responded softly, feeling his heart-rate jump as Buggy's hand came to rest on his back, drawing lazy circles on his back.

Dream-Buggy's words haunted him, the tone almost identical to the one that the real Buggy was using. Soft, and genuine-sounding. He didn't trust it, though, muscles tense. "I don't have anywhere to be." Buggy insisted, voice softening into a persuasive lilt, "Lay with me." 

He didn't argue, sighing as his body relaxed, eyes fluttering shut. They laid there for awhile, the sound of their slow breathing filling the space. Despite his reluctance to stay, and the storm that raged inside of him, he felt his mind slow. The steady beat of Buggy's heart, his regular breathing and his repetitive, soft hand movements made Niko's mind calm, the rhythm serving as a lullaby. 

There was still that underlying, unconscious tenseness in his stomach, though. The knowledge that it wasn't right, the feeling that crept up through his belly and thickened in his throat, making it hard to breathe. For the moment, though, he let himself indulge, regardless of the effects he knew it might hold later. 

Eventually, when he couldn't stand the silence anymore, he spoke up, "You were in a good mood last night. Do you cuddle with all of your prisoners?"

Buggy stirred, a teasing laugh that rumbled in his chest sounding, "You were the one who came crawling into my arms, sweetheart." Niko blinked, squinting at the wall as he tried to remember the events of the night prior. It was Buggy who'd pulled him into his arms, right?