What We Do In The Shadows

1 - New Blood

Warning: Contains adult language and sexual content!

-Deuce-

I live with five vampires. Yeah, it sounds crazy, but it's true. We reside in a eight bedroom manor on the outskirts of Los Angeles. People call our neighborhood a gothic's hangout, which is more accurate than anything. The house is shelled with trees at the end of a long winding driveway.

Being a mortal familiar is an okay full time job. I'm basically a glorified human slave to them. While they sleep during the day, I go around and clean up any messes they make during the time that they were awake. My daily duties consist of: dusting the living room, cook the guys their breakfast at 6 PM, change Pekoe's litterbox, making sure there's no sunlight whatsoever seeping inside the interior, watering the plants, and cleaning up any trash because they are too lazy to clean up after themselves. Like all jobs, sometimes you love it, sometimes you hate it.

Other duties that I am not so proud of doing is: trimming the cemetery in the backyard, mopping up any spilt blood from feedings, and disposing of the bodies. 

The one I hate the most is the last one. Disposing of the bodies. This is the one thing I can never completely adapt to. I admit it was very unsettling when I first agreed to be their familiar. I mean, you have to have a strong stomach as well as strong muscles to do the job, good thing I fit in that criteria. Morticians make it look so easy. 

It's currently 7 am and the guys had turned in to sleep. All five of them are in their coffins getting ready to sleep. As I picked up the insane amount of trash in the living room as well as the kitchen, I quietly move up the stairs to get started on the second floor. In their feeding room that's at the end of the hallway of their bedrooms, I see that there is a male body laying sprawled out on the floor. 

I roll my eyes with a sigh. It's one thing when they each score a victim but it's a pain in the ass when they group feed on one. Just to add on to it all they picked a male lawyer who had to weigh about 300 lbs. When you're forced to move a body like this the weight doubles, so 300 lbs feels like 600 lbs. I'm not about to throw my back out today. 

"Guys!" I yell out loud.

I storm into the hallway giving their doors a stern knock to wake them up. I hear a series of groans and whimpers as well as creaking of their coffins opening. I watch as they all open their doors and poke their heads out. All of them look lethargic. 

"Dude. What is wrong with you?" George whines.

"Fuck off we were sleeping? It's like 7 am." Danny adds.

"Meeting. Now." I snap.

When I made sure that all of them were awake and out in the hallway, I open the feeding room door, pointing to the corpse on the floor.

"Look. I know it's my job and all, but why must you leave it there? Can't you guys toss him out an open window or something? How long has he been there?"

George slaps Jordon's arm.

"Damn it, dude. You were supposed to toss him."

"Fuck, I forgot. I'm sorry."

I sigh again. They're all glaring at each other. From the horrendous odor I am estimating that this poor bastard has been there for about two days. 

"Okay. I don't care about who you nab in the moment of hunger, but when you bring them home to feed off them, can you at least toss the heavy ones like this? I don't care how, maybe wrap them up in a bag and toss them out the window? I'll go out and bury them."

They all groan like I just asked them to cut off a limb but they agree nevertheless. Matt goes into the room and wraps the corpse in tarp. He takes a breath as he opens the window. He hisses loudly when the sunlight hits his skin, making the others cower and hiss at the same time. In one swift move, he effortlessly tossing him out the open window. I hear the sound of a loud thump and he shuts the window.