we were in paris | TS

Chapter Three - Indecision

AN:

Vote if you want there to be smut next chapter

Also, Travis or Joe endgame? IDK!

Taylor's POV:

I awoke in a bed I didn't recognize, for a moment I panicked about where I could possibly be, then I remembered I had gone home with Travis. It took me a moment to collect the bits and pieces of my memories from last night but for the most part it was all a huge blur. When I tried to roll onto my back, I realized Travis had his arm locking me in place, spooning me. Wait, are we both naked? Shit, shit, shit. This can't be happening. We fucked last night, hard. My legs were completely stiff and unable to move, and I felt excruciatingly sore all over my body with the combination of the work Travis did on me and my Eras Tour. I'm literally paralyzed, the thought made me giggle a bit. I sighed in relief, the man's toned body up against mine. Skin to skin was definitely relaxing, I could stay this way forever. Unfortunately, I heard Travis grumble a bit and yawn loudly, I had woken him up. He probably was a little shocked too when he realized what had happened last night, like the sight of Taylor Swift naked in his bed was a real eye-opener. He noticed I was awake and he ran his fingers through my blonde locks. "Morning Tay." Travis said in his deeper morning voice that sent shivers down my spine. "Good morning Trav." I greeted back as his arm slipped away from me, making me groan softly. He had stood up and began to put his clothes back on I presume, unable to see because I was too busy trying to get my body to move. "I'm fucking paralyzed, what did you do to me?" I laughed, attempting to sit up but failing. Travis walked around to the other side of the bed only in his boxers where I could see the cause of my pain staring right at me. "Damn." I mumbled as he lifted the covers off my nude body. "You took it like a champ, Swift. That's all I remember." Travis chuckled, I playfully punched him in the arm. "You're so perfect." He complimented sweetly, planting a kiss on my temple, before picking me up in his arms. "Let's go shower." I requested, looking up at him full of desire.

After we both got cleaned up and I regained my partial ability to walk, he made me some breakfast before I had to fly back. The week before I scheduled time in the studio today to begin sharing ideas with Jack Antonoff, for my next studio album which has no name just yet. It would be my eleventh album and it has to be a hit because right now I have more pressure on me than ever. Therefore, I need more time to work on it even if it's still a ways away from its release. "I loved the pancakes Trav, thank you for everything." I expressed my gratitude before moving closer to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. I gazed at the handsome, taller man who couldn't hold back from having another steamy makeout session before I left. "Taylor, before you go, I want to know what we are." He inquired after pulling away. "I don't know, Travis. Not yet anyway. But, I loved spending time with you so I'll be sure to let you know as soon as I'm ready." I replied with honesty. It's true, my feelings are still unsure about getting into another relationship, especially one that's more complicated. If I dated Travis, it would label him forever whilst he has his own successful career. Plus, I'm looking to be more open this time rather than closed off to the world, so it would mean more media attention. All of these things need to be discussed, but I still need to make up my mind first, take this one step at a time. Travis nodded, slightly disappointed. We said our goodbyes, and next thing I know, I'm on my way back to New York.

Once I got my Wifi connection back on my private jet, I could see many messages from my publicist again, as I suspected. There's probably plenty of photos taken from last night of us doing God knows what in that restaurant before we left. I really don't even remember what we did, so I prepared myself mentally before opening the text. It read: Good morning, Taylor! Hope you and Travis had a good time in Kansas City last night, check out these new photos taken by people outside of the restaurant when they discovered your whereabouts! She had attached a photo, it was blurry but you could faintly see me and Travis kissing by the bar. It was coming back to me now, everything that happened. Her other message read: Don't worry, I've got it handled this time, just be more careful about what you do in public. That was a relief. We texted back and forth a lot, her mostly nagging me for details about what we did.

The entire time, I still couldn't shake that feeling, from when I started reminiscing about Joe yesterday. The way he made me feel was unreal and like nothing I've ever experienced. The way Travis made me feel was similar but there was a difference for sure, like my love for Joe was more true, devoted and tender, rather than lustful. No, no. I'm over Joe. I feel like I'm back at square one. I need to stop doing this to myself. I'm falling for Travis, I'm going to be with him, he's right for me, he's what I need right now. Trying to convince myself was difficult, but I'm praying it works.

I'm in the studio now, sharing lyrics that I had written with Jack for my new album. "Taylor, these sound very similar to the songs from Lover. Plus all of these references..." He was worried, reading over the pages I had given him. "References of what?" I demanded, curious. "Joe. I mean, Taylor, are you not over him yet? It's been a long time.." He was now looking at me with a concerned expression. If he's even noticing it, this isn't a good sign. "No, I'm way over it, I've met someone new. Plus, the theme of this album isn't love. Where are you getting that from?" I asked with confusion, but deep down I knew the truth. I just couldn't say it out loud, I couldn't bring myself to. "Read over these again." Jack suggested. I nodded, and began to see them myself. When I made these songs, before I met Travis, I thought I had done such a good job, writing these so effortlessly. Turns out, I had just written about Joe, showing just how much I missed him. The mentions of him were obvious. This all had to be scrapped. Writing music just reminds me too much of him, it shatters my heart all over again. He helped me out a lot, giving me inspiration or contributing more than I gave him credit for, especially while writing folklore and evermore. That's why I adore those albums so much. I stood up, overwhelmed by his discovery. "I'll come back another time when I have more. I can't use any of this. Next week, okay?" I stressfully hurried out before he could even respond.

Returning to my apartment, my throat felt like it was closing in. My breathing was rapid and my heart was pounding. I sat down on my couch and tears uncontrollably began streaming down my face as I curled up and sobbed into my hands. An entire waterfall came out of my eyes, like I had been holding them back for months. I haven't cried over Joe in forever, but right now I was too weak not to. Coming to the realization that I was still madly in love with him was destroying me mentally, when I thought I worked so hard to get over him, this just obliterated everything. I tried my best to get my sparkle back, but I'm only me when I'm with him. He was my everything, my world, the one. My cries only got louder as I thought more about Joe, so I lifted up my head and looked around at my dark apartment and the night sky from my windows, hoping I would naturally calm down. I spun around and looked at my kitchen, searching for some solution to my problems.
Then, I saw it.
A big bottle of champagne on my counter.