Memories we wish to forget.

Chapter 10

Sapphire 

After taking care of a few things for the baroness I leave to go find Ashley I walk out of the front door. I find Ashley leaning next to a red Porche staring at her phone. she still in her dress from earlier and I swear she looks even better than she did the morning. 

I can't help but feel nervous around her since this morning, her mom quite literally called us out not that we did anything but still.  Ashely hasn't seen me yet and I don't really know how to greet her. So, I kind of just stand there until she notices me. 

"Hi, beautifully"

wow her voice is beautiful, it feels like it been ages since I have heard her voice. 

I snap out of my thought when Ashley clears her throat, I look up to see her holding the door open for me.

I blush. 

I mumble a hi as I enter the car. 

after walking around to the driver side and staring the engine she says do you want to stop and eat somewhere it about a 2-hour drive to Victoria secret. 

woah were going to victory secret, I have never been.

'Yeas please"

after driving for about 10 minutes of driving or should I say silence 

Ashely breaks the silence "so about earlier."

before she can continue, I interrupt "I am sorry."

"Babe what are you sorry for, nothing wrong. "

I try not to let the fact that she called me babe bother me, even though it did. 

"yes it is, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to have you be a part of this", and you mom how did she even know, she obviously know about us which I am not even sure how, but does she know about me, there now way right, haven't told anyone and radiance doesn't even remember it so there no way she find out through him, she can't know she probably sell"- "Sapphire breath, you rambling a bit" Ashely interrupts me. 

I look down in shame "I didn't mean to ramble it's just your mom is scaring me." 

something drips on my hand, and I realize it was a tear, I am crying. 

"Breath sapphire nothing is going to hurt you right now." 

i find body automatically lessening to her and take deep breaths.

"Good girl"

Holy hell that made my body to flip or something because a wonderful sensation happens through my whole body.

I look up to find her smirking like she knows exactly what that did to my body.

"Now let start from the beginning, what does my mom know that has you worried, also does it have anything to do with your nightmares."

of course, it does, my mom sold me, and I was tested on for 2 years during that time I lost 2 and a half brothers. would you have nightmares to.

but hey I got a photographic memory and enhance reflexes, oh and don't forget a body full of scars.   

"Sapphire if you don't tell me I can't help you, I understand if you're not comfortable yet, but just know that all always be her for you." 

I take a deep breath. 

"I want to tell you, but I just don't know how to or where to start"?

Ashley reaches over and grabs my knee with her hand. 

"Thats okay, how about this do you know why you have nightmares, like the cause."

I nod my head yes. 

"Perfect how about you tell me why, if there more than one reason just pick one."

I can tell how sincere she is.

"Okay the main reason" I take a deep breath "the main reason is the black-market research project. or as we called it prison.' 

"who's we you and radiance." 

I nod my head no tears are streaming down my cheeks.

"no, me and my brothers" 

I can't help fully cry now I haven't thought about Alex and Ben in so long it hurts God how could i have let them die like that, I start hyper ventilating, memoires upon memoirs invade my mind and I can't do anything to stop them. The guilt of losing them consumes me and I start pulling my hair and scratching myself tell i bleed, my body welcomes the physical pain, anything to get my brain of Ben and Alex.

suddenly Ashley has me in a bear hug stopping my hands. I immediacy thrash in her hold the pain is still there my mind imminently picks back up with memories. 
"Let me go, please it hurts I beg in-between cries." They pain continues to grow. 

"sshh baby I know it hurts but pulling your hair and scratching your arms tell you bleed isn't going to help either, baby breath."

"I can't let me go, I continues to fight and thrash but motherfucker she is strong.

"Please, please let me go." 

Ashely hold doesn't loosen as she continues to tell me to breath. until eventually my body goes limp in her arms 

even after I have calmed down enough, she continues to hold me. 

as if waking up from a dream I realize what happened.

I turn to hug her properly and she lets me. 

"Ashley i am so sorry, please forgive me, I didn't mean to." 

I cling to her tighter and she immediately starts running her hand through my hair. 

"it's okay baby it's over.' 

this triggers tears stream down my cheeks again as sob into her into her, I cry for my brothers, I cry for my mom because even though she sold us I still miss her every day, I cry for all the good times I had before the prison, and most importantly I cry for myself.

"sapphire are you okay"

"No but I will thank you."  

"Is there anything I can do right now." 

wow what did i do to deserve Ashely no one has ever cared for me this much before I could even think about what my body was doing, I lifted up my head and crashed my lips into hers. 

Within second her lips pressed back, and her hands were holding my neck. The kiss was warm and deep like we were talking through it. I regrated not kissing her sooner because God her lips were so soft and perfect, I wanted to die right then and there. 

I gasp escaped my lips when she pulled away only to lift me more into her lap. 

" I wish we could continue but I am afraid that we still have shopping to do, we still have about a 45-minute drive." 

"Oh okay" I say with a little pout. 

"Oh, don't pout well have all night to kiss as much as you want."