I always fucking will be

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Yns pov
Not being able to see the losers was hell. I saw Richie once in a while because Eddie would sneak him in but other than that I have not seen anyone. A few days ago Stanley called inviting me to his Bar mitzvah, I liked him a lot, I said yes knowing I will have to sneak out. I had to see him. Today was the day, so I got dressed and ready for the bar mitzvah.

Outfit

After I got dressed I than got his gift, it was a gold watch with a bird on it, and a note

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After I got dressed I than got his gift, it was a gold watch with a bird on it, and a note. I climbed out my window and left. I got to the synagogue and on my way in I saw Richie. "Oh hey yn" Richie spoke. "Ciao Richie" I said and we both walked in to the Synagogue and placed our gifts on a table than sat down.

"Reflecting on what I just read the word 'leshnot' comes up a lot. Which means, um, to transform. Which makes sense I geuss. Because today I am supposed to become a man. It's funny though. Everyone, I think has some memories they are more proud then others, right? And Mabey that's why change is so scary. Cause of the things we wish we could leave behind, the whispers we wish we could silence... the nightmares we most want to wake up from...the memories we wish we could change... secrets we feel like we have to keep, and the hardest to walk away from. The good stuff...the pictures in our minds that fade the fastest, those pieces of you feels the easiest to lose. Mabey, I don't want to forget Mabey, that's what todays all about, forget it right?" Stanly spoke "thank you, Stanly." Stanley's dad spoke walking forward. "Uh, Today I was supposed to become a man, but I don't feel any different... I know I am a loser, and no matter what, I always fucking will be." Stanly spoke making everyone gasp. Richie stood up and started clapping slowly. Then he got pulled down by his mom.

I sneak out of the synagogue to find Stan.  "Stan!" I run up to him. He had his head in his hands "Yn?! What are you doing?" He asked. He seemed scared I sat down next to him. "The speech was so good I'm very proud" I said. "Thanks." He said. I looked into his eyes and he looked into mine. Just looking at his eyes made me want to hold him for the rest of my life. He held my hand I held it back. I put my hand in his hair pulling him closer to my lips gently and kissed him. He put his hands on my hips and back. I pulled away. I was in shock, I have never kissed anyone. I smiled and laughed slightly and he did the same. Just at that moment there where No monsters, fights, parents, or anything could get us. I did not like the idea of having to move to get adopted but I was glad I did, I made friends even if they hate each other right now, I have a brother, and a guy who likes me back.

❤️❤️❤️

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