Inks Mastery (Black Hearts MC Book 3)

Chapter Three

INK

So pretty much that shit backfired in my face, she flat out made me feel like I was the one that was delusional about us becoming a thing and for some strange fucking reason I felt like I got slapped in the face. Her and Nicky had been gone the entire weekend, she would send me pictures of him here and there but other than that she wouldn't talk to me or text me it was only Nicky who I would see. My boy, he looked happier without me even being there which was no surprise because after the incident I had tried everything in my power to stay away from him because it was just too hard. seeing him every day made me remember that because of me it was the reason he didn't have his mother and that guilt ate up at me, even if I avenged his mother, it was still something that I could not let go so being close to my son was something that I didn't even know how to do. It didn't mean that I didn't love him or care about him, just couldn't be close to him because deep down I knew that if his mom wasn't trying so hard to be my old lady or to have a life with me even though I didn't love her she would probably still be alive and with her son but because she wanted to try and to be there for me like if we were a real thing despite me knowing that she loved me and I didn't love her maybe just maybe that little boy would still have his mother if I had just manned up and told her to stay the fuck away from me or to at least find some other guy. But no, I did the right thing in taking her and my son in because that's what you do when you fuck around without protection, you take fucking responsibility regardless of there being no feelings but because of that sense of responsibility his mother was gone, and he was alone. 

The whiskey bottle was empty, and the picture of Lottie looked back at me, her smile and her beautiful green eyes that were copied on my little boy's face looked back at me. The picture frozen in a time where she was happy and smiling and not the image, I had of her from the last time I held her in my arms. Her eyes were wide open and frozen in fear and panic, her mouth parted open and filled with blood as it oozed down both sides of her cheeks, her neck had a hole from a bullet that had hit her, by the time I had already reached her she was gone. It was only her body I was holding that day and for the first time in a long time I had cried and screamed. I cried because this woman even though I felt nothing more than friendship for her she was someone that I had known for years and was a close friend to me, she was someone that knew me better than I did and just like that was gone. I screamed because she was gone and it was all because she thought that maybe just maybe that barbecue would bring us closer, if only we didn't go. If only we stayed home like I wanted to, but he begged and pleaded saying she wanted to meet the rest of the girls and reapers woman and like a pussy I fucking caved in and because of it we didn't get closer like she wanted, we became forever distant. 

Lottie died with a false hope that one day I would fall in love with her and maybe if time had passed and she was still here maybe I would have fallen for her but now she wasn't here. Who was here was Rosie, I didn't hear much of the details from Anna about what happened but it was Rose that had shielded Nicky from the bullets, getting hit in the crossfire herself which had put her into a coma for a while but after she had gotten better and felt she overstayed her welcome with her sister she came to me and offered to help me with Nicky and for the last few years that's what it was but lately because of me and a night of endless drinking, I fucking complicated things for us.

Coming home one day pissed drunk and horny as fuck, Rosie was in the kitchen wearing skintight shorts and a long t-shirt that had jack sparrow on it, her hair down her back in loose waves. She was making Nicky a bottle who i could hear crying from her room, but did that stop me? No, it didn't, stumbling towards her she turned to face me her eyes full of surprise and drowsiness which probably was from waking up even as she was shaking the bottle to mix the formula in her hand. Taking hold of the sides of her face my lips crashed against hers in a hungry and dominating kiss, the sound of surprise coming from her mouth which just made me push into her even more not caring that she was trying to push at me. My dick was so fucking hard in my jeans that I'm sure if it had the ability to it would of tore right through them, she squirmed pushing at me even though my tongue pushed into her mouth and then before she could push me away again it was as if I heard Lottie's voice calling my name faintly. It made me stop and look at Rosie who was staring at me with a red face and heavy breathing, her lips slightly red and swollen, she moved away from me pushing me back shaking her head.