i'm not leaving

the look in your eyes

Dear Pez,
I know you'll scold me for saying this but truly I don't know how to write this.

I could say all the niche things like 'have the best day' or 'love you mate' but that feels a bit
wrong

Anyways, I thought instead of rambling on about how I'm struggling with English when, well you know, I thought i'd tell you a story.

One day, too long ago, after a few turbulent months, there was a boy who was trying to find his pacing again. For the first time in a little while. In the morning, he decided to get out of his bed and try. Though it was hard, he got up and got dressed. Simply a black tee and joggers. Without knowing, there was nothing much to it. I mean, it's a t-shirt and trousers. But there was something there. In that clean pairing, he felt and smelt hope (his room quite literally stunk like a dying cat - love u Mr Wobbles).

Anyways, with his brother distant and sister gone for a while, all he wanted was them... but for that moment, pancakes could do. There in the dining hall, he was met with the roar of perhaps a dozen recruiters acting like unhinged fools, all with the same spelling point - boarding school.

To be fair, the boy had been out of education for a while but it wasn't too much of a concern, seeing as there didn't seem to ever be anyone around to complain. The house was virtually desolate, which is why it was unnerving to see who stood before him.. his brother.

He made a futile speech on the benefits of it all and yadayada but all he could notice was how good he seemed. And couldn't understand he too couldn't it. He had a sleek suit, a tie that was certainly a choice. He seemed to have revitalise his life to such a point his skin glowed and in that period, he wondered why he'd gotten left behind

The boy agreed and chose the first school out of spite and pure disgust of the farce he was causing at such a time. Well that's what he said to his face. But what he felt truly, he kept it and held it.

On the drive there, he looked around to see the immense greenery. A suffocating type of beauty.

When he went to his room, he began to unpack his belongings. Funny the idea a whole life can be locked away in a bag. Maybe it was the sadness creeping or strangely orange walls, but he felt a crushing pain rush past him. It'd stopped him well in the train that was too far from home and left him here. In that moment he realised how utterly alone he was in this world. Tears splashed. Items clashed. Yet the minute sound that rustled by the door seemed to capture him.
At first, he thought he may have heard wrong. You may not be suprised to hear he wasn't in the best states of mind.
However feeble, it persisted. Quietly. The boy hastily found a towel and scrubbed his eyes with the abrasive. He punched them once and opened the door.

'Philips brother right'

The boys confusion quickly washed off. He shudder at the name

The other winks,
'About right' He chuckles. The type where the corners of his eyes even upturn. But these weren't the unexpected vistors eyes, it was the boys. His solemn stature had been broken. By a smile.

He looked at him, in slight fascination

'Think we'll be good friends?' He squints his eyes. He was unsure. The boy was so confused how someone so infectious and loving could posses that. Someone so perfect. All his head wanted was to continue crying but something somewhere made him say

'I'd like that'

And he meant it. And as the term progressed, as his sister came home, as his mother didn't, he somehow felt stability. Peace. Funny thing people often say a good friend is one who can make you laugh and feel free. But he grew to knew this boy with his wandering knock was one who made his life worth living again. Worth fighting for.

Surprise, it was you.

Happy 21st Pez. Mean more than words could ever describe.

—

authors note: something different?! must add, heavily inspired on all the beautiful talented writers in my 'really good' reading list !!! check them out, they are incredible! & ofc another gracie abrams hit