The Scarecrow's Dreaded Birthday

Chapter 3: Kitten Party

September 4th. Dr. Jonathan Crane stared at his calendar with a feeling of impending doom. It was his birthday again, and if the last two years were any indication, his colleagues at Arkham Asylum undoubtedly had some absurd and humiliating celebration planned.

Jonathan sat tensely on the edge of his bed, contemplating how to avoid whatever trial awaited him. Calling in sick was an obvious option...but that felt cowardly. And he refused to show weakness, even on his most despised day of the year.

No, he would walk in with his head held high and face their antics with steely, silent dignity. When they dragged him to whatever sick party or misguided gift, he would not crack. Jonathan nodded resolutely and stood to dress for battle.

At Arkham, Jonathan stalked the halls like a man approaching the gallows. When Dr. Leland popped out of her office, he flinched. Here we go again.

"Happy birthday, Dr. Crane!" Leland sang out. Jonathan cringed.

"Let's skip the charade this year, shall we Joan?" he said tersely. "I appreciate your misguided attempts at celebration, but it's quite unnecessary."

Leland waved him off with a knowing smile. "Oh come now, it's your special day! We want you to feel loved. Now come with me. We planned something special in the staff lounge."

Jonathan dug his heels in. "I don't need or want—"

But she had already clutched his arm. "This way! We just know you'll love this surprise."

Jonathan followed Dr. Leland down the hall reluctantly, dreading what awaited him behind the lounge door. As they approached, he steadied himself with a deep breath.

Upon entering, Jonathan eyed the decorations warily. A bright "Happy Birthday" banner hung crookedly above balloons bouncing haphazardly around the room. Pushed tables formed a makeshift seating area where his guests waited.

In the corner, a large object was concealed under a white sheet. A poorly stacked pile of gifts and a plain shop-bought cake sat precariously on another table. Whatever lay beneath that sheet, Jonathan felt certain it was nothing good.

As he took it in, the rogues bellowed, "Surprise!" in an off-key chorus.

Jonathan's unease grew studying the so-called guests. Grinning back were The Joker, Harley Quinn, Two Face and Poison Ivy. Their schemes spelled trouble for certain.

"We wanted this year to be really special," Ivy purred, giving him a sly smile.

Jonathan's eye twitched. "Special how", he thought nervously.

"We know things have been...bumpy...the last couple birthdays," Dr. Leland continued delicately.

"That's one way of putting it," Jonathan muttered.

"But we think you'll love this surprise!" Harley grinned eagerly.

The Joker danced over to the sheet and grasped a corner dramatically. "Ready for the big reveal?" He whipped it away with a flourish. "Ta-daaa!"

Underneath sat an enormous wire pen filled with kittens. Fluffy, wide-eyed balls of fur in every color gamboled and tumbled within. They frolicked and pounced, mewing adorably.

Jonathan froze, staring at the sea of felines in utter disbelief. No. They couldn't possibly think...

"It's kitten party time!" Harley cheered, blowing a noisemaker. "Do ya love 'em or what?"

Jonathan turned a pale, shell-shocked face toward the rogues, who were watching him expectantly.

Dr. Leland spoke gently, as if to a child. "We thought you would love having some cuddle time with these little kitties."