Who do you think I am?
I asked that countless of times; even though unanswered by my own self I still think I know who I am.
If you'd ask me if I don't love myself way that much and that I turned out to be obsessed about dying. You'd probably be surprised if I tell you, I love myself so much. I love myself like I am capable of admitting I am a monster of my own.
Then I guess you'd also have this gut-wrenching questions in mind.
Why do people turn into serial killers? Does a person's upbringing have a greater "blame" for their actions? Or is there an overlap of triggers which transform some people into gruesome murderers?
Nakikita ko ang sarili ko sa salamin habang sinusuklay ni Angelus ang aking mahabang buhok.
"If I die, would you lit candles on my grave, Angelus?" I suddenly query that made him stop for seconds. He gazed at the reflection of myself in the mirror.
"A-as you wish," malumanay na sagot nito.
"Hindi ka ba masaya na mamatay na ako?" muli kong tanong sa kaniya, hindi niya ito sinagot at umiwas pa ito saka sinuklay na lamang muli ang aking buhok.
A sudden deafening silence devoured the atmosphere, so I stood up and take a look at my dress just to break the silence.
"Do I look good with this dress?" pag-iiba ko na lang ng usapan. He gave me a sour smile and nodded his head as a sign of validation. Nakasuot ako ng isang Filipiniana at nakabakya. Syempre isang Presidente lang naman ang papatay sa akin kaya dapat mamatay akong isang makabayang Pilipino.
"Thank you for buying this dress for me, Angelus," pagpapasalamat ko at ginuhit ang matatamis na ngiti sa labi ko. Nilakbay naman ng mga mata ko ang orasan sa taas ng pinto.
"I guess the President is waiting. It must be a shame to make him wait," saad ko at nagmadali na mag-asikaso para umalis.
I gave Angelus instruction on what he's suppose to do when every thing is not going well according to plan.
Bago ako makalabas sa pintuan ay bigla na lamang nagsalita si Angelus at sinagot ang kanina ko pang tanong.
"I'll be left alone when you die. . . do you think that would made me happy?" wika nito kaya hinarap ko siya ng may ngiti sa labi.
"You'll not be alone. I'm still gonna be here," sabi ko. Napangisi naman ito.
"Ano mumultuhin mo ako? Alam mo naman takot ako sa mga ganiyan," tugon nito.
"Why ghost when I can be your angel?" giit ko naman. He let out chuckles because of what he heard.
"Seryoso ka ba? Do you think heaven will welcome you? " sarkastikong sagot niya kaya napangiti ako.
"You're harsh, Angelus. If I can't be your angel, then I'll make myself your sleep paralysis demon," pang-asar ko sa kaniya.
"Tsk! Jokes on you!" Napatawa ito ngunit bigla ring napatigil nang makita niyang seryoso ang mukha ko.
"Ahm sorry. . . I-I guess the President is looking for you now. G-goodluck on your death wish," nangangambang saad nito. I laughed off my ass when I saw terrible fear in him. I love teasing, Angelus. He's just gullible and too scared.
"I pledge you'll never be alone in this world, Angelus. Trust me, " I assured him at pagkatapos ay nagpaalam na ako sa kaniya.
•¤•
MY EYES GLUED ON THE PALACE. A smirked formed on my face when I realize I'm close to my desire—dying.
YOU ARE READING
Who Shall Kill Me?
Horror"Self-murder is a sin then I'll hunt killers to murder me. . ."
