Eleutheromania // Namkook

Four - emotions 204:anger, arousal, freedom.

Namjoon had a new routine that took over his brain the last three days before his first midterm.

•Wake up
•Think about Jungkook's face being so close to him that he could feel his breath
•Get ready
•Head to the library to study
•Spend half the allotted time thinking about Jungkook's face being so close to his he could feel his breath
•Head to any class he had
•Type notes haphazardly while he thought about Jungkook's lips (it progressed...)
•Head back to the dorm and stare into space, thinking about Jungkook's warm words near his ear.

Namjoon was obsessive prone when it came to his thoughts, one of his biggest issues was getting stuck on words or phrases in the back of his mind, even while he was occupied with other things the phrases would play in the smallest part of his brain like background music. Over and over and over until Namjoon had to slap on his noise-canceling headphones, and shut his eyes tight enough that it felt like his eyelids would turn inside out.

So, while Namjoon went about his routine, and had these interrupting thoughts about Jungkook, he still had one phrase going through his head at all times- definitely accompanied by the visuals at moments.

'I wonder what you taste like' Namjoon wasn't one-hundred percent sure what that meant, but he did know that it wasn't innocent, not with the way Jungkook had pulled him so close and whispered it.

He supposed what he was most confused about was the why. Why Jungkook had taken some weird interest in him, and why Namjoon's heartbeat was suddenly in a lower region when he thought too hard about it.

Maybe he was getting sick... he figured if his symptoms persisted after exams he would find the best way to treat them.

🍃🍃🍃

Namjoon practically burst into Jin's office, breath panting, cardigan slipping off his shoulder, hair windswept.

Everything froze. Namjoon, chest rising and falling rapidly, looked around. Jin was behind the desk, and another person in the chair Joon usually parked it in.

"S-sorry!" He tripped out, turning around to fumble for the door knob.

"It's okay,  Namjoon-ah, just wait outside a bit, we're almost done," Jin said with a gentle smile. "Deep breaths" he reminded as The blond finally pulled the door open. Namjoon felt thankful for the reminder as he took in a deep breath and left the office to wait in one of the chairs sitting outside.

His leg shook no matter the amount of deep breaths he took, but it was better than the full-blown panic he felt minutes ago. He brought a hand to his mouth, biting his nails in a nasty habit he was never able to break. His leg shook some more, and he twitched, hands falling to rub against the fabric of his jeans.

He exhaled for four, inhaled for four, and held for eight. The door of the office opened.

"Of course, you know my office hours. Let's meet again and you can tell me how everything goes" Jin was saying.

"Thank you, counselor, Kim"

Namjoon shook his head a little to free any persistent thoughts that were gnawing on the walls of his brain.

"Namjoon" Jin's voice sounded annoying. Not literally, but his tone made Namjoon annoyed. It was soft and gentle like he was waiting for him to stand up and shatter to pieces. Namjoon did stand, but he did not shatter to pieces.

They made their way into the office Namjoon took his usual seat and Jin took his seat behind the desk.

"You look very distraught, more so than when you went to that party your freshman year." Namjoon winced, he had asked Jin to forget about that disaster.