The Daily Diary of Ash

Day 27: January 13th 2024

HAPPY NEW YEARRRRRRR <33 -party party yeah- dude I fr can't believe it's 2024 T-T

Anyways, I've been ok but it's been hard to get back into the habit of going on Wattpad and writing or DMing my friends. School is more tiring but at least I'm getting better grades than last year lmao. I also haven't been on Discord in a while; idk why but there isn't any in between for me - naturally-, I either do smth every SINGLE day or I never do it, it's insanely hard to start getting back into my old habits, even if it's been a week. For example, I used to come here and go on Discord every single day, sometimes even before going to school in the morning or really really late at night, not a day went by where i didn't check my Wattpad, my whole life was online, my friends had become family and i had a small community, i was even a "writer". I had found something that made me feel ok yk. But now, whenever i try to come back, i tell myself i need to start being active again and then i forget. There is so much going on girl now and i now communicate with my online friends with our actual phone numbers (especially one friend who basically saved me when i was at my lowest). Life is such a complex thing and sometimes i wish i could go back but i guess i also realize that it's a good thing that my closest friends aren't only ppl i have never met before. But i feel like the reason why it's so easy to open-up to complete "strangers" online is because there are so many ppl that you will be able to find ppl like you, you understand you, who can empathize and/or sympathize with you. You sometimes have the most beautiful and close friendships/best-friendships with ppl you have never met because if ever you say something, they won't judge, and if they do, well you won't ever see them anyway, and they can't tell anyone because they don't know your friends and enemies (apart from other online friends).

Anyways all this to say i'm trying really hard to get back to writing because i truly love it and think it's a beautiful thing to do. (ps- i'm listening to "Tear" rn <33)

ok byebye i love you all so very much

you my tear, you my you my tear (me vibing rn fr)