THIRTEEN • Eren Jaeger

CHAPTER 14: Loop Nine, II

Sunlight thinly streamed into the next morning in the tent, pouring shine onto Eren's bare arms. When you woke up, you were momentarily disoriented.

Something wet had been running down your thighs, slick as oil. Then you had the displeasure of remembering.

Every promiscuous image from last night ran through your mind. It was filthy and downright sinful. You'd acted way out of line, throwing yourself on Eren. But he wasn't any better, pulling you in greedily. Tempting you like the devil he was. Original sin. It was like taking a bite of the forbidden fruit and realizing how deprived you'd been all your hours alive of its juicy sweetness.

You searched within you for a lick of regret. Little to none.

Eren shifted in the bed, snoring lightly before breathing quietly again. For a suspended moment, you gazed at him in wonder, not knowing how it was possible for someone to be so broken yet so beautiful.

When you touched his hair, tucking it behind his ear, he mumbled your name in his sleep and reached a hand up to paw at yours. He wanted to hold your hand, even asleep.

You knew you should have felt bad about being intimate with Eren. Previous loop yous would have freaked out of their bodies, afraid of how it would affect the timeline. But this time, you found that you didn't feel so bad—if anything, it felt amazing to wake up practically naked in his arms. Still, you wouldn't allow yourself respite. What would be the consequence now?

Eren stirred. You observed the slow rise and fall of his toned shoulders with every breath he took. You memorized every pattern of his so well all these lives that you could probably write a ballad from the mere rhythm of his heart.

Your soul ached as he rolled towards you—lips parted in sleep, dark lashes fluttered shut, his lengthening hair touching your cheek. Like his flesh couldn't bear to be parted from you even in slumber.

Maybe you should have felt embarrassed, but it felt good to be in bed like this. Away from the prying eyes of the world, with the thoughts of making love.

You sat up, slowly. Your legs ached. Of course, they did—you had opened them so willingly last night, allowing Eren to touch the forbidden areas within. You should be ashamed. But you still weren't. It had been for him, and you'd give him anything.

"Eren," you whispered, closing your eyes. You knew he was asleep and likely wouldn't hear. But perhaps by that logic, you could try. "I'm trapped in a...mmph."

You should have given up by now, but you have not.

Finally, you felt Eren wake. His eyes scrunched together at the morning light before opening them. His pretty irises blinked at you, slowly, then widened, then cooled. He saw your discarded blouse on your lap and began to blush.

"I..." He trailed after a moment's pause. His face was red but he stared straight into your eyes, trying to be respectful. You almost scoffed. He had been anything but last night. "I, er, good morning."

"Morning," you replied. You pulled your crumpled blouse back on, buttoning it. "So..."

"So."

"You and I are really that close, huh?"

Eren gaped at you for a moment, then when he saw you were trying to hint at a tiny smile, he released a gentle laugh.

"Guess we are. I... I never thought we'd do that, to be honest."

"Goes to show how much I trust you."

Eren sat up, and it took everything in you not to flush and panic when you realized that his... thing was probably also out under the blanket. And you had... no, you couldn't even believe you'd done it. You never forgot how Eren kissed you in other loops. There was no way you'd forget this.