to my destiny 💫

009.

[cole's point of view]

i was walking by alex's room to head outside when i heard him arguing with jackie... and i heard my name being mentioned. "alex, stop! i don't have feelings for cole! i just don't think that you and i are meant to be together!" jackie exclaimed. she sounded kind of pissed off too. alex obviously wasn't listening to what she was saying.

i knew it was wrong to stay and listen, but if alex had accused her of having feelings for me, then i guess he was kind of dragging me into it. "you don't have to lie to protect my feelings, jackie. i should've known you would be like every other girl in silver falls. falling all over him even if you act like you hate him with your whole being."

that was... definitely a low blow. "i thought you were emotionally mature enough to handle the truth, but you're obviously not," jackie muttered in return. "you're one to talk! you won't even tell him that you have feelings for him when it's been obvious for months! i've just been trying to ignore what's always been there between you two! i told you, if you don't tell him that you have feelings for him, i will!" alex exclaimed.

i shook my head and let out a sigh of anger. he was going to mess with things that had nothing to do with him, and it wasn't fair to me, courtney, or jackie. jackie couldn't be more right about him being emotionally immature.

yeah, of course i still have feelings for her. it's not like they just disappeared into thin air. they just weren't as strong as before. i'd been working on it over the summer. i hope alex isn't right about her having feelings solely for the fact that this could ruin everything. the last thing we need is something else happening that sends jackie back to new york city for good.

i was about to walk away, lost in my thoughts, when i heard jackie say, "if you tell cole that i have feelings for him, even though i clearly just told you i don't, i won't ever willingly speak to you again."

there was a short pause of silence before alex murmured, "you don't mean that." jackie didn't wait a second more to tell him, "i do mean it. you don't get to create drama between me and cole and courtney that doesn't exist just because you don't like the fact that i don't reciprocate your feelings."

damn, that was brutal. "fine. i won't tell him. but just so you know, jackie, i know you're lying, and i know you've been in love with him this whole time," alex replied. "you know what, i'm just done with this. you're obviously not going to listen to what i have to say, but i am sorry things panned out the way they did. i'll see you tomorrow," jackie replied.

as soon as she said that, i scuttled away and out the back door. i walked over to the barn to go spend some time with the horses before i had to hear any more of the chaos that was stirring in the house. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

[jackie's point of view]

as soon as i walked out of alex's room, i went to the kitchen to make some tea and just laid my head down on the kitchen table for a little while. i felt bad about the way things ended with alex, but i couldn't just say 'i still like your brother, and i know he has a girlfriend, but i don't care' because that just wouldn't be fair. even though i might still have some sort of feelings for cole, courtney is a sweet girl, and i wouldn't do anything to hurt their relationship.

after a little while, i heard footsteps and slowly turned my head to find cole walking into the kitchen from outside. "sorry, didn't mean to wake you," he said quietly.  i shook my head weakly. "it's okay, i wasn't asleep. just resting my head."

cole nodded. "right. um, are you... okay?" i made a face. "what?" he glanced away. "it's just-- i kind of heard you arguing with alex on my way out to the barn. was he mad at you or something?" 

perfect. cole had heard us arguing, probably about him. "oh, yeah. i guess it makes sense someone heard us. do you know if anyone else did?" he shook his head. "no one else was down here when i was. maybe they came in after? i dunno how long you guys were arguing."

i shrugged. "not very long... how much did you hear?" cole shrugged. "not much. just him sounding upset about... wait, did you break up with him tonight?" i glanced away. "i was going to wait, but i just couldn't. he was being so kind, and i didn't want to take advantage of him."

cole smiled softly. "yeah, i guess that makes sense. so, i'm assuming he didn't take it very well. on a scale from one to ten, how mad was he?" i couldn't help but smile. "i'd definitely say an eight point five or nine. he didn't get physically angry, but he actually started blaming it on you."

a flicker of concern passed over his face before he crossed his arms. "really? what'd he say?" i shook my head in annoyance as i told him, "he said that i was breaking up with him because i still had feelings for you. i don't, by the way. even if i did, you're dating courtney. she's so sweet. i would never do anything to hurt either of you. i don't really want to date anyone right now anyways."

cole rolled his eyes and huffed out a cheeky breath. "right. of course he said you still had feelings for me. sorry about that. i guess i kind of deserve it after last spring though." i shook my head. "no, you don't. we've both moved on from that. it seems like alex is the only one who hasn't."

"i guess so," cole murmured. "see you tomorrow, new york. remember, it's the first day. don't wanna be late." i smiled back. "definitely don't. goodnight, cole."