to my destiny 💫

016.

[cole's point of view]

so many things ran through my mind as i drove courtney back to her house from smashburger. it was time. after eating, i'd finally gathered the courage and confidence to end things with courtney. i knew it wasn't going to be easy. i wasn't even exactly sure what i was going to say to her.

i decided it would be best until we were actually at her house and parked so there wasn't any chance of reckless driving or awkwardness on the drive back to her house. it would be better this way, if there was even a really "good" way to go about it at all.

as soon as i parked in courtney's driveway, she tilted her head slightly and her blue eyes sparkled like piercing icicles as she asked, "is something bothering you, sweetheart? you were really quiet on the way home. you're not too tired to drive home, are you? i'm sure my mom would let you sleep on the couch if you wanted to."

i smiled wearily as i shook my head. "no, it's alright. i'm fine, i promise. there's just something i've been meaning to talk to you about..." courtney nodded in understanding. "ohhh, this is about college, isn't it? have you chosen your top three already?"

i looked down at my hands as i fidgeted with my fingers. "no, no. it's--uh-- not about college." courtney tilted her head slightly in confusion. "then what are you talking about? you don't need to worry about anything, cole. whatever it is, we'll handle it together."

"yeah, that's kinda the thing..." i finally muttered. "courtney, you've been by far the best girlfriend i've ever had. compared to how i was before, it's really only fair to call you my first real girlfriend. you've taught me so much, and my time with you has been great. i just... don't think we're meant for each other in the long haul."

her strawberry colored lips quickly twisted into a frown and her once pretty, blue, pure-looking eyes looked dark with misunderstanding and hurt. "you're breaking up with me? i-- i don't understand. i thought we were on the same page. is it something i said or did?"

"no, courtney, of course not. like i said, you were the best first girlfriend i could've asked for. it wasn't anything you did. i just... i've kind of been having feelings for someone else recently, and it's not fair to just string you along when i still have those feelings... and i know for a fact those feelings aren't going to be leaving anytime soon," i admitted with a reluctant sigh.

"oh... i didn't realize you had feelings for someone else. well, this sucks, but thank you for telling me the truth. you could've been a lot meaner, but you weren't. i'll see you around, cole," courtney said with a forced, very sad looking smile before she got out of the car and headed inside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

[courtney's point of view]

i felt my heart sink deeper and deeper each step i took towards the front door. i didn't know what to do. i'd never been broken up with before. i'm sure my mom would want to see cole, but there was no way that was happening after what had just happened.

i opened the door to her standing there enthusiastically with a bright, light-hearted smile on her face. "how was it, honey?? is cole still out there? do you think he'll want to come in for a cup of coacoa?" 

i inhaled a deep breath and shook my head. "he's-- he's already left. i thought it was good, but i guess it wasn't really. not with how it ended." my mother's smile quickly turned into an unplanned frown. "i'm sorry, courtie, baby. what happened?"

"cole and i just broke up," i replied quietly. before my mom could respond, my little sister, darla, came bouncing down the stairs wearing her heavily applied kid makeup from justice. "COURTIE!!!! HOW WAS THE DANCE? WHERE'S YOUR HOT BOYFRIEND? DID HE KISS YOU IN FRONT OF EVERYONE AND MAKE YOUR DREAM OF BEING A PRINCESS COME TRUE?"

i shook my head and didn't say another word. mom put a hand on darla's shoulder and said, "sweetie, why don't you head upstairs and start getting ready for bed? courtie's had a long night, and i'm sure she's ready for bed too. we'll talk about tonight another time, okay?" darla shrugged and said, "okay. make sure to bring my princess crown upstairs when you tuck me in."

as soon as darla was upstairs, my mom wrapped me in a tight hug and sighed. "oh, honey, i'm so sorry this happened. i know it's going to be hard, but you'll find a better man for you. you deserve the world, courtie. don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't."

i smiled as i pulled back from her warm embrace. "thanks, mom. i really needed that. i'm gonna go head upstairs. i'll see you in the morning."

~~~~~~~~~~~

[cole's point of view]

i put my car back in drive the second courtney's front door closed. i felt sorry about the way things had ended, but there wasn't anything else i could do. i still had feelings for jackie, and all i wanted to do was go talk to her about everything. 

but i couldn't. i was sure she'd just want us to stay friends-- or some sick and twisted version of "siblings" until alex happily moved on in life. 

i wasn't expecting anyone to still be awake when i got home, but jackie was sitting wide awake at the kitchen table eating chips and salsa. "hey," i said with a little chuckle. jackie smiled softly in return. "hey."

"you the only one up?" i asked. she nodded. "everyone else is in bed. i just wanted to make sure you got home okay. katherine was still really worried when she went to bed." i raised an eyebrow and shook my head. "you don't need to worry about me, new york." she rolled her eyes as she dipped another chip into the salsa. "whatever you say." 

"hey, jackie, can i talk to you about something?" i asked quietly in return. she nodded as she swallowed the chip. "yeah, what's up?" i glanced away as i asked, "do you remember when i said courtney and i were in a bit of a rough patch earlier tonight?"

jackie nodded. "yeah, what about it?" i squinted nervously. "so, we kinda just broke up. i don't really know why i'm telling you this. i guess i just thought you should know."

"oh, cole, i'm sorry. i hope you guys can still be good friends," she replied. i shrugged, stealing a chip out of the bag. "it doesn't really matter. i knew she wasn't the one for me."

jackie tilted her head in confusion. "why?" i frowned in return. "why what?" jackie shrugged. "why wasn't she the one for you?"

"i-- i couldn't stay together with her when i started to realize i still have feelings for someone else," i replied quietly. jackie scrunched her nose in confusion. "uh, isn't danny talking to erin now? i don't know if going back for her is really the best idea right now."

after hearing her say that, i knew i couldn't hold it in any longer. 

"jackie, i wasn't talking about erin. i was talking about you. you're the one i still have feelings for. strong feelings.